


if you want

by ladynovelist



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-04-27 04:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14417310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladynovelist/pseuds/ladynovelist
Summary: Backstory: Instead of Lilith being able to control Jace, he ends up making it to the Silent Brothers instead. They are able to perform his protection ritual, but Jace still isn't back to his old self. Or maybe he is, and he realizes that his old ways aren't going to work for him anymore. Simon is there for him in ways no one else can be. Compliant with TV series with references to the books.***“I refuse to count how many times we save each other’s lives. I don’t do it to pay you back or to clean the slate. I do it because I care about you, Jace Herondale.”





	1. are we friends?

“Well now that you proved to be no help, please see yourself out,” said Raj pointedly towards Simon.

Simon, Raj, and Jace were at the institute trying to brainstorm ideas about the source of some murders of tourists in Midtown. Clary and Izzy were out doing groundwork, trying to make sure it didn’t happen again, and Alec had gone to ask Magnus if his magic could be of any use.

Simon was _pretty_ sure it was probably a rogue vampire, but he was _definitely_ sure that this wasn’t his jurisdiction. Somehow he was second in command while Raphael was out of commission with his sunlight wounds. Vampires healed quickly, but damage caused by the sun was not easily undone. Either that, or he was hiding out and making Simon do his dirty work while he pretended to recover. Simon wasn’t even sure how he had somehow gotten to be second-in-command. He probably wasn’t, but none of the other vampires cared about the Shadowhunters enough to help out, especially with an incognito clan leader.

In any case, time was of the essence because since whoever was behind this was specifically targeting tourists, it made it more difficult to hide the suspicious activity from the mundanes. They had to solve this quick before there was a national outcry. Glamouring could be effective, but when the relatives of the dead went back to their home states, they would obviously be taking some kind of news story with them about how their family members had died, even if it were inaccurate. The Clave would not stand for this if the situation got too out of hand. If so, all the Institutes would have to be involved, and the fall back would be on them for letting it get out of hand.

Simon smirked at Raj in response, but it was clear that he was hurt by the brusque dismissal. He didn’t even want to be here helping, and he wasn’t even be appreciated for it?

“Can you behave civilly for one day?” asked Jace, narrowing his eyes at Raj. Simon was momentarily startled that Jace of all people had come to his defense, but Raj was insufferable no matter what—even if Simon was the object of his terrible attitude. 

“This is the Institute,” said Raj with the bravado of a person who was about to go into a long spiel but was unqualified to do so. “The moment we _allow_ a Downworlder to walk through those front doors, they are in the service of the Clave. They’re here on our terms and can and will be dismissed when we have no use for them anymore.”

“Raj,” Alec warned.

Jace, Simon, and Raj all snapped their heads in his direction. Alec must have just arrived from Magnus’. Raj balked, his prior confident state all but gone now that Alec was there.

“I didn’t hear the first part of your conversation,” continued Alec, “But I don’t need to. Raj, you were out of line. You’re on weapons cleaning duty tonight.”

“But—“

“No buts,” said Alec.

Raj stormed off, making sure to glare at Simon before he was gone for good.

There was an awkward silence. Simon thought that he should maybe thank Alec for having his back, but something told him that Alec was simply using the situation as an excuse to punish Raj rather than it being an indication that Alec actually gave two shits about his well-being. Alec began speaking again before Simon could muster up the words to say ‘thank you.’

“Jace, will you escort Simon back to his and Kyle’s apartment?” asked Alec.

Simon expected him to protest, but Jace just nodded and began walking towards the exit. Simon waved goodbye before rushing ahead to join Jace who didn’t appear to be waiting on him even though he was supposed to be taking Simon home.

This had been their routine lately. Either Jace or Kyle escorting him places so no one ended up in the hospital. The Shadowhunters and Praetor Lupus seemed to be in agreement that Simon was not allowed to go anywhere by himself. If Kyle had it his way, Simon would be a recluse—not allowed to go out at all. But for some reason unbeknownst to him, Jace had volunteered to be his personal bodyguard when Kyle didn’t feel like it. And most of the time, Kyle didn’t feel like it.

The walk was mostly silent. Well, technically. They weren’t speaking aloud, but Simon had definitely started several conversations with the version of Jace that he talked to in his head. He imagined what the blonde Shadowhunter would say to his various stupid icebreakers, which was a good strategy for preventing him from actually saying anything idiotic out loud. Simon secretly hoped Jace didn’t have a rune for reading minds. Jace had been escorting him places for well over a week now, and yet, they still hadn’t had one full-length conversation.

“If you wanna ditch, that’s fine by me,” said Simon finally. “I bet the last thing you want to be doing on a Friday night is spending it with me. You know, we’re pretty close to the apartment now. If you dip, I promise I’ll tell Alec and Kyle that you walked me all the way home.”

“And risk your mark activating again? Not a chance, Simon. We already have enough on our plate at the Institute as it is with all these mundane killings. We don’t need any accidents on top of it.” Then Jace sighed, somehow having enough self-awareness to realize that he was probably coming off as harsh. “Look, I know this is tough, but we’ll figure out what’s going on with your forehead after we put a stop to the murders,” said Jace. “Wait. Isn’t your apartment down _that_ street?”

Simon was still caught on the fact that Jace had actually referred to him by his first name instead of calling him “Lewis” or “daylighter” to internalize the fact that Jace had asked a question for a moment. But Jace was right. They had kept straight when they were supposed to turn.

“Sorry, I guess I’m on autopilot. I wanted to stop and get some...supplies...to stock up my fridge. I’m running low.”

“Oh I forgot to tell you. Kyle texted me this morning and told me to let you know that he picked up some blood for you.”

Simon sighed. He didn’t even know Jace had Kyle’s number. And now they were texting behind his back like two concerned parents.

“Seriously?” asked Simon rolling his eyes. “What’s the point of having a secret mini-fridge in my room if my roommate’s going to stalk its contents anyway?”

“It was only secret when you thought he didn’t know you were a vampire,”said Jace. “And what’s autopilot?”

“Like you know how mundanes have airplanes? There’s a setting on them that makes the machinery pilot by itself without a person needing to.”

“That sounds unsafe,” replied Jace. He looked up in the sky with a frown. “I always thought those things looked like death traps.”

Simon didn’t quite know how to respond to that, so he just kept quiet. They walked on in silence until they made it to the apartment complex.

“You know, we would have gotten here 100 times faster if you’d just let me use my vamp speed to go home by myself. I go so fast, I barely see anybody. Not enough time for anyone to activate my mark. _Or_ , for the love of G—a deity—we could have at least taken the subway,” said Simon shrugging.

“Yeah and have a repeat of Tuesday morning? You’re kidding me,” said Jace. “I just assume that no one on a subway naturally likes you. It should be avoided.”

“That’s only because everyone on the subway naturally likes _you_ ,” Simon reasoned. I was only trying to defend your honor!”

“I can defend my own honor,” said Jace rolling his eyes. But then he smiled—the type of smile that Simon knew he reserved for Clary, Izzy, or Alec. And now him apparently?

The short of the story was that they had been on the subway Tuesday morning on the way to an impromptu breakfast at Magnus’ place. Jace had just mentioned how Clary wasn’t really a morning person which Simon took to mean that Jace was glad for the change of pace and was enjoying their conversation because Simon was very much a morning person. For the five seconds he had been a normal vampire, he had abhorred his new nocturnal schedule—but at least it had made it easier for him to handle late-night gigs. Now, thanks to Jace, the time of day didn’t matter anymore.

Simon had been about to ask Jace if he had been juxtaposing his feelings about spending time with Clary in the morning with spending time with Simon, but before he could get the question out, some guy had tried hitting on Jace when Jace was clearly with Simon. Not _with_ him, with him, but it should have been apparent to any passerby that the two of them were clearly traveling together.

Anyway, Simon had jumped in and had possibly hinted to the guy that hitting on a someone during a morning commute at 9am was not a good look, but the guy tried to come at him. At that point, Jace had promptly stepped in to prevent forehead magic, which made it look a whole lot like they _were_ dating. The guy had left at the next stop in a huff before Simon or Jace could negate it. And that was the story of how a random stranger thought they were boyfriends.

Jace’s smile fell all of a sudden, and Simon snapped quickly back to reality.

“I’m sorry again for ruining your Friday night,” said Simon. He figured that’s why Jace seemed to be suddenly upset. The allusion to yesterday had probably reminded him of the person he _was_ currently dating and the fact that he hadn’t been spending all that much time with her. “You two probably had a date planned and everything. Oh! I have an idea! There’s this great restaurant not too far from the Institute. I forgot to mention it last time you asked for date ideas. There’s probably still time to take her tonight if you leave now! I’ll even let you borrow my MetroCard so you’ll get there faster. It’s not like I’m using it anyway with you as my bodyguard. Ugh, I didn’t mean it that way to make it sound like you work for me or something. I’m not Beyoncé or something. Plus I mean if I were anybody I’d be like Michelle and not Beyoncé. I’m not sure Michelle has a bodyguard, though. Not that you’re my bodyguard! Anyway, the restaurant has all of Clary’s favorite foods and—“

“By the Angel, Si. Do you ever stop talking?” asked Jace. He was smiling now, but there was still a sadness behind his eyes that Simon couldn’t place and that Jace probably didn’t want him to think was there. “You didn’t ruin my evening and I didn’t have a date planned with Clary tonight,” said Jace in a tone that sounded as if he were making an attempt to be reassuring. “To tell you the truth, ever since I went to the Silent Brothers and they redid my protection ritual, we haven’t been talking all that much,” said Jace shrugging. “I’ve tried, but she doesn’t feel up to hanging out again. I was really distant with her when I was the way I was and I’ve apologized, but I don’t know if she’s ready to accept it yet.”

Simon tried to internalize the fact that they were still standing outside of his apartment. Jace no longer had any obligation to be here anymore, and yet he still was. And he was even confiding in him. He had even called him by his nickname for the first time.

“Don’t tell her I said any of this to you!” said Jace suddenly, his mind probably taking him down the same train of thought that Simon’s had just gone through.

“I won’t, man,” said Simon. Great. Now he was also keeping Jace’s secrets about his relationship drama. “I barely see her anyway unless I’m being used by the Institute to solve crimes I have nothing to do with.”

“Sorry,” said Jace. 

“Not blaming you,” said Simon with a shrug. “I’m sorry about Clary. She’s probably also upset because she’s the one who told Luke about bringing you back from the you-know-what when she promised to keep it a secret.”

“But I’m an idiot for not telling anyone in the first place and her telling him ended up saving my life,” Jace complained

“Those are all true statements.” Simon was getting tired of playing Dr. Phil to Jace’s problems and was ready to go inside now. “Look, Jace. I’m not saying that what she did was wrong—only that it’s how she probably feels right now.”

Jace let out a sigh. “Simon, can I tell you how bad it feels every time you demonstrate how much you know her better than me?”

“We were practically raised together,” said Simon. It wasn’t a defense—it was just the truth.

“I know,” said Jace. “Why would I know her better when I’ve known her for two and half months and you’ve known her your whole life? I just need to get used to it. Why don’t we try out the place you were mentioning just now tomorrow. You could bring Maia and maybe you could tell me what Carly doesn’t like ahead of time so I at least look like I know _something_ about her. Last time with you two was...fun...after it wasn’t.”

Was Simon asking him to go on a date? Obviously not with Simon himself, but with their two dates. But still, this was progress.

“Jace, are we friends?” asked Simon suddenly.

“Goodnight, Simon,” said Jace nonchalantly turning to leave, but Simon used his vampire speed and grabbed his shoulder before he could get away.

“Why do you always do this?” asked Simon.

“Do what?” asked Jace, his eyebrows knitting in confusion.

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“I don’t get it. What am I doing?”

“Every time someone gets emotionally serious with you for even five seconds, you immediately pull away. Is this how you treat Clary? No wonder your relationship with her is on the rocks,” said Simon, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could catch them. Jace looked like a wounded puppy for a split second before he tried to make it look like Simon’s words hadn’t hurt him. The damage was already done though. “I’m sorry,” said Simon. “I shouldn’t have said that. But that’s what it seems like. You confuse me sometimes, Jace. You really do. I may be a soulless vampire, but even I know that most normal people enjoy making friends. That’s how I am at least—it’s how most people are. We need to know that our friendship is reciprocated by those we choose to spend our time with. It boggles my mind that this isn’t how you operate though. I just need to get used to that. You know, you’re not the type of person I would normally be friends with, anyway. Like if I saw you on the street I’d probably run the other way. Sorry to break it to you, but you just aren’t Simon Lewis friend material.”

“And why is that?” asked Jace, offended.

“It’s common knowledge that I’m a self-proclaimed nerd. Clary kind of is too, you know. She’s not as far down the dragon dungeon as I am, but that’s why we’re friends. If I make an anime reference, she may not understand what anime it’s _from_ , but she knows what an anime _is_. It’s all the nerd dialectic, you see—“

“What language are you even speaking right now?” asked Jace. “And I believe it’s called a rabbit hole and not a dinosaur lair or whatever you said. Sorry, I stopped paying attention after you started talking about ‘anemia.’ Can vampires seriously get that?”

Simon wanted to hug Jace but also felt the urge to grab his shoulders and shake either some sense or references into him. He did neither.

“Anyway,” said Simon trying to ignore Jace’s ignorance—and there was _a lot_ to ignore. “I wouldn’t normally be friends with someone like you, but I must admit, Jace, due to the extenuating circumstances, I do consider you a friend.”

“How do you define friends?” asked Jace as if he were genuinely curious.

Simon thought about it for a moment. “A friend is someone you like spending time with. You legitimately care about how they’re feeling and there’s a part of you that hopes they reciprocate that feeling. If something happens to them, you feel like it’s your personal duty to help them get through it. There’s also inside jokes, secret handshakes, and the occasional platonic massage, but we’re not at that point yet,” said Simon grinning at him.

Jace actually laughed. But then he stopped as quickly as he started. “I should go.”

Simon pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. “Well if you’re not going to take Clary out tonight, at least still use my MetroCard to get back to the Institute. That’s the only downside to this apartment. It’s so damn far away from everything. Kyle might have been able to custom design the perfect apartment for me, but he couldn’t do anything to improve the shitty New York real estate market and get something closer to the Institute.... or to the Jade Wolf,” he added almost as an afterthought.

“Fine. I’ll take it,” said Jace.

***

Later that night Simon received a text from an unfamiliar phone number:

**(917) 867-5309**  
_your dumb card didn’t have any money on it you pale idiot_

Well, it was obvious who was texting him, but Simon had no clue how Jace had obtained his phone number. Alec and Kyle were typically in charge of arranging Jace’s body guard duties for Simon. After Simon added him as a contact, he quickly responded:

**Simon**  
_Sorry! I thought it did! Maybe if you guys let me travel even to the bank by myself, I would have known that like the Matrix, it needed to be reloaded_

**Jace**  
_the what?_

**Simon**  
_It’s a movie. You know—one of those things that mundanes see on the big screens with moving pictures_

**Jace**  
_I know what a movie is, nerd_

**Jace**  
_Anyway_

**Jace**  
_Thinking about what you said earlier, you can be my friend._

**Jace**  
_if you want_


	2. the friendship test

Simon’s problem was that he didn’t actually need to go anywhere.

He didn’t have to go out and buy “food” since Kyle seemed to be doing his grocery shopping for him. It wasn’t like he had any gigs booked, so he didn’t have to go sing anywhere. And since he didn’t have any gigs, he wasn’t making money, so he didn’t even have to make any rudimentary trips to the bank. The money wasn’t any issue though. Now that it was apparent that Praetor Lupus was footing the bill for the apartment, he didn’t need to come up with any rent money. Nope, now he was just bored out of his mind with nothing to do and no one to do it with.   
  
He would hang out with Maia, but the last time he’d heard from her, she mentioned that one of her coworkers had quit their job at the Hunter’s Moon, so she was stuck working double shifts and was too busy to go out out with him. That had been days ago, and Simon suddenly wondered if it was okay to not text your girlfriend for several days on end.   
  
He couldn’t hang out with Clary if he actually wanted a chance at a real friendship with Jace. Simon figured that Jace would rescind his tentative offer of friendship if Simon started spending too much time with her again. Maia probably wouldn’t be too pleased about it either. So that was out too.  
  
After an uneventful weekend, Simon had half a mind to make up an excuse about somewhere he needed to be in order to at least have some company, but he hated to be a burden. He had already inconvenienced Jace enough over the past few days. He hadn’t even heard from the Institute about what was going on in Midtown, so he figured the Shadowhunters were too busy to be bothered.  
  
Simon wasn’t exactly allowed on the frontlines anymore because although his forehead could be an effective defense strategy, it clearly wasn’t ideal and could backfire on someone from their own side if things got too bad. No one wanted to risk that.  
  
So, Saturday and Sunday passed with Simon having almost no social interactions. He had started playing COD with Kyle at some point last night, but Simon didn’t like COD all that much and he had worked out an excuse to get out if it pretty soon after they’d started. Besides that one interaction, Kyle was strangely gone a lot. Simon had no clue what he could be doing, but it seemed like everyone had somewhere better to be except for himself. Even if Praetor Lupus allowed him to go anywhere, it’s not like he had anything to do in the first place.  
  
On Monday, Simon was going insane. His refrigerator looked almost newly stocked as if Kyle were replacing the contents everyday now despite being MIA. It was as if he didn’t want Simon to even think for one second that he would ever run low. After his “breakfast” he was throwing the empty blood bag in the trash when his phone started ringing. Simon was about eight feet away, but his enhanced vision allowed him to see Jace’s name come up on the caller ID. Simon used his vampire speed to race over to his phone before he realized that Jace must be calling for date ideas again and not to actually talk to him. Even if they were supposedly friends now, it wasn’t characteristic of Jace to reach out first unless he needed something.   
  
Plus, Mondays were the perfect days to think about date planning because it was easy to feel remorse from not planning anything good for the prior weekend. Yup, Simon decided. That was definitely why Jace was calling.  
  
Simon let the phone ring four times before he answered so Jace would know that Simon’s time was valuable (it wasn’t).  
  
“Hey! Sorry I didn’t text or call you all weekend. My phone is on the fritz. Jace is here day-drinking again, so I asked to borrow his.”  
  
“Maia?” asked Simon in disbelief. Of course Jace would never actually be calling him for real.  
  
“Yes, sorry. Yes, it’s me. I probably should have led with that.”  
  
“Probably.”  
  
“Anyway,” said Maia. “Our act for tonight canceled. Apparently the singer was good friends with Zeke—you know, the guy who quit—so he decided not to play anymore. Gig is all yours. The pay is shit like always, but—“  
  
“I’ll take it.”  
  
“Great. Be here at 8. I’ll tell my boss you’ll play, but I gotta get back to work now. See you tonight,” said Maia hanging up before Simon even realized their conversation was over.   
  
Simon just sighed. Before he could relax his phone vibrated, indicating that he had a text.  
  
**Jace**  
_So I’ll pick you up around 7:20._ _  
_  
The text had popped up on his screen. Simon had a thought and checked his call log. It didn’t take him all that long to scroll back a few weeks—no one called him that often. He realized that when Jace had called a few weeks ago asking for date advice, he had used his own phone which meant that Simon totally had Jace’s number already, but had been too idiotic to realize it. The jury was still out on how Jace had obtained _his_ number on the other hand...  
  
Simon imagined Jace stealing someone else’s phone, like Izzy or Clary’s—heck even Alec and Magnus had his phone number by now—and secretly punching the digits into his own. Or perhaps he had nonchalantly asked someone, passing it off as being work-related.  
  
Now that Maia had called on Jace’s phone, the memory of the last time Jace called kept replaying in his mind. How was it that Jace was so bothered that Simon knew more about Clary than he did, when Jace had totally used it to his advantage before for dating advice? Simon sighed.   
  
***  
  
Simon heard a knock at the door. He glanced at his phone. It was 7:20pm on the dot. Why (and how) were Shadowhunters so punctual? Simon was in the process of trying to jam his combat boot into his left foot and could not answer the door immediately.  
  
“Just a second!” he shouted.  
  
Simon hopped on one foot, struggling with the boot, but he hadn’t realized that either he or Kyle must have left a wireless Xbox controller on the floor by the couch. Simon landed on it, and slipped, losing his footing and falling to the ground, knocking a cup off the coffee table on his way down. He heard it shattering as both he and the cup hit the ground at the same time. That was the thing about gravity: No matter how much of a dumb, bumbling idiot a person was, no one was exempt from the laws of the universe—two objects that fell at the same time, no matter what size they were would hit the ground at the same time.   
  
Simon sighed. Jace was right. Here he was lying on the ground thinking about the laws of nature that had put him there. He was definitely too much of a nerd.  
  
Simon looked up to see Jace breaking down the door. Did Shadowhunters have an Alohomora rune or had Jace just kicked the door open out of sheer strength? Simon didn’t ask. Jace quickly ran into the room.  
  
“Who did this to you?” he asked, on the offensive. His knees were bent and his stele was out. He was glancing around the room as if a demon would come from behind where one of the guitars that was mounted on its stand.  
  
Simon sighed. “I fell,” he replied sheepishly. He closed his eyes. Maybe if he tried hard enough he would just melt into the floor and die of embarrassment. Why was he like this?  
  
Nothing happened, and after a moment Simon squinted his eyes open and saw that Jace was now standing directly over him, looking at him with an amused expression. His stele was nowhere to be found, so he must have put it away. Instead, he had Simon’s boot in his hand—it had launched off to god knows where when Simon had plummeted.  
  
“Come on, Si. You’re going to miss your gig,” said Jace. “And I don’t particularly care about that,” he added quickly, “But Maia promised her boss you’d be there, and if you don’t show, then she’ll get fired. Not that I care about that either, but she’s the only one at that godforsaken establishment that knows how to properly make a mixed drink with the correct proportions of alcohol, so rise and shine, Daylighter.”  
  
Simon didn’t comment on the fact that Jace had literally gone from calling him “Si” to calling him “Daylighter” in the same breath.  
  
“So much for being friends and sincerely caring about each other’s well being,” said Simon, coming to a sitting position. Surprisingly Jace held out his spare hand and helped pull him up. Simon told himself that the warmness he felt shoot through his finger tips had everything to do with the very normal shock of any cold vampire touching a warm human and not something else...  
  
“I’m glad you’re okay?” Jace tried, making what should have been a statement come out as more of a question. He handed Simon his boot.  
  
“Better,” said Simon, letting go of Jace’s hand, which he probably should have done 5 seconds before he actually did. “Could have used a bit more sincerity in the delivery, though. Anyway, you’re right. I don’t want to let Maia down. Let’s go.”  
  
“I think you have to put on your other shoe first,” said Jace.  
  
Simon looked down as if he didn’t know he  still only had one shoe on. He noticed how gray and ratty his sock looked and was promptly embarrassed—if he could be any more embarrassed than he already was. He would bet anything that Jace’s socks were pristine.   
  
Simon bent over and tried to put on the shoe again. He hopped precariously on his other foot as he tried to get it on. He saw Jace smirk out the corner of his eye.   
  
“Back at square one, I see,” he said, finally understanding how Simon had gotten into this situation in the first place.  
  
Jace grabbed Simon’s arm to steady him, his grip firm, but surprisingly gentle. He held on like that until Simon finally had his shoe on. When he straightened, he looked up and was close enough to stare into Jace’s differently colored eyes for a moment. Jace held his gaze but then abruptly released Simon’s arm. Simon made a mental note that Jace too had held on for a little too long.  
  
“Well you passed the first test,” said Simon, suddenly.  
  
“Test? What test?” asked Jace quickly, backing up so he and Simon were not as close as they had been.  
  
“The friendship test,” Simon clarified, making it up as he went. He crossed his arms and began pacing. People who paced while they spoke always knew what they were talking about, right?   
  
“Remember when I said that friends care about each other’s general well-being? Well, when you thought I was in danger, you literally almost broke down a door to save me.”  
  
“I, I,” said Jace as if he were about to protest. But the fact remained that he did very much almost break down a door. He made the wounded puppy look again, the one that made him look like he was a four year old who just dropped his ice cream. Simon almost felt bad about lying. Almost. How was it that Jace could go from brooding angsty model to a literal toddler in .5 seconds? Suddenly Jace smirked. See, Simon told himself. Back to brooding, angsty model. This is why he didn’t feel bad for him. “I’m not going to argue with you about how I tried to save you. I sure did, and I don’t regret it. You should be happy I stepped in when I did. If you’d really been in danger or even worse, hurt, then I totally would have been able to save your sorry ass. Now come on, let’s go. If you don’t perform, I don’t get decent drinks, remember?” asked Jace.  
  
He did that thing where he stalked out of the room, didn’t look back, and didn’t wait on Simon to walk out with him as if he expected Simon would naturally be behind him. He was.  
  
***  
  
“So will there be another test?” asked Jace in a state of what Simon could only call excitement.   
  
They had been walking towards Hunter’s Moon for a while now, and it took Simon a moment to even realize what Jace was referring to.  
  
Simon couldn’t believe that when he’d almost gotten Jace to admit aloud that they were friends, the Shadowhunter had somehow flipped the script, making it about himself (once again), and turning it into some sort of challenge or competition.  
  
That was it! Simon would make the second challenge Jace verbally acknowledging their friendship.  
  
“There is,” said Simon with a secretive air. “But you have to figure out what it is. Like last time, I won’t tell you until you’ve passed it.”  
  
Jace frowned. Then, “Deal,” he said, surprising Simon. He had assumed he would at least have to fight for it.  
  
There was an awkward silence. Simon could tell that Jace was trying to figure out what the second challenge was. Simon thought he would try guiding Jace towards it. There was a tiny bit of him that wanted Jace to admit that they were friends so that Jace could solve the challenge, but mostly, Simon was doing it for personal reasons. Simon hadn’t realized that he absolutely craved the validation that would come with Jace Herondale of all people willingly admitting that the two of them were friends.  
  
“I’m not sure I said thank you for everything,” Simon tried, as they walked towards their destination.  
  
“Huh?” asked Jace.  
  
“Umm,” Simon faltered. He was unsure if Jace’s response simply meant that he hadn’t been listening and wanted Simon to repeat himself or if he actually didn’t understand why Simon was thanking him. He decided to go with the latter. “I don’t know,” Simon said quietly. “I was just thinking about how before we figured out who Kyle was, you spent a sizable portion of your ‘personal day’ helping me. You didn’t have to do that.”  
  
Jace chucked. “I told you, Lewis,” he said. “I was being nice to you because it would keep Clary happy.”   
  
“Yeah but you’re also helping me now. I didn’t want to have a personal chaperone, and I’m sure you didn’t want to be one.”  
  
“That’s true,” said Jace.  
  
Simon sighed. This was going far from how he planned it.  
  
“What?” asked Jace.  
  
“I just—“ Simon started.  
  
“You what?” asked Jace.   
  
Simon smiled. “Whenever I want to punch you in the face, I just have to remember in my time of weakness that not everyone has had the same experiences as me, so I shouldn’t judge you.”  
  
“The guy reads one page of _The Great Gatsby_ and suddenly he thinks he’s a prophet.”  
  
“Stop talking about me like I’m not even here,” said Simon. “Wait a second. You understood one of my references?”  
  
“I’m actually impressed,” said Jace honestly. “You have great taste in literature.”  
  
Simon didn’t know how to say thanks while not telling Jace that literally every 11th grader in the United States read that book.  
  
“Ah yes, I’m pretty well-versed in the classics,” Simon said nonchalantly while thanking his old English teacher, Mrs. Stein with every fiber of his mental willpower.  Sitting through literally every character in Wuthering Heights having the same name hadn’t been in vain after all!   
  
“I admit I haven’t read as many as I’d like to,” said Jace in what could only be called embarrassment. “You’ve probably had more time to read than I have.”   
  
It wasn’t intended as a sleight, and Simon didn’t take it as one. It was true. In his teens, Simon hadn’t been trying to help half-angels save the world from demons so he probably had more time to read Moby Dick than Jace did. Simon couldn’t admit to actually understanding what happened in that book, but he had definitely at least read all the words in it.  
  
“I can always recommend one to you,” said Simon. “If you want. No pressure, like if you feel there’s a spare moment where the world’s not in danger and during that moment you get the urge to read a book, but you don’t know what to read, and you happen to remember that I’ve read a couple books, I’d totally help you out.”  
  
Jace chuckled. “I’ll keep you posted,” he said.   
  
When they rounded the corner, they were at the Hunter’s Moon.   
  
When they got there, Jace held the door open for Simon. It seemed out of character for him, but before Simon could think too hard about it, he thoughts were interrupted by everyone saying:   
  
“Surprise!”  
  
Simon, jumped, not prepared for the sight of all his friends.  
  
“Umm,” said Simon. All of the adrenaline from being surprised wasn’t enough to activate the mark on his forehead, right? “You know it’s not my birthday, right?” he said, while Jace gently shoved him into the establishment.  
  
“We know you’ve been trapped in the apartment all week,” said Clary. “So we thought we’d get the gang together and rent out the place.   
  
“There’s no gig,” said Maia. “It was just a lie to get you here.”  
  
“I better still get paid for this,” said Simon scratching his head while Maia pulled him further into the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long time it took to update. Hopefully, I will be able to update faster from now on.


	3. intoxicated

“And that’s how I met Sacagawea!” Magnus finished, throwing his hands up in the air to indicate that the story was over. 

At that point, Jace escaped with Maia, who was off duty, to get drinks. Or rather Jace wanted a drink and Maia was willing to make it if he tipped well. That part of the story hadn’t been a lie. Maia really was the only person Jace trusted to make his drinks.   
  
At first, Simon was suspicious of their hanging out, especially given the butterfly tattoo revelation from their double date, but it appeared that things between the two were strictly professional.   
  
Magnus launched into yet another story. He was quite drunk. So was Alec, but Alec was the type of drunk who could only witness the disaster unfolding in front of him while being too woozy to stop it. Izzy and Charlie were having a side conversation, so Simon decided it would be okay if he had one of his own. It was clear that Magnus was too far gone to realize that people weren’t paying attention anymore anyway.   
  
“Thanks for planning this,” Simon murmured to Clary. He hadn’t spoken to her in what seemed like ages. He gingerly took a sip of his favorite drink: blood in a cocktail glass. At the Hunter’s Moon, they called it the Extra Virgin Bloody Mary.

“You’re welcome, but it was mostly Jace’s idea,” said Clary. Simon almost spat out his blood. “It’s just too bad Kyle couldn’t come. We tried to pick a night that he was free, but he’s caught in Long Island every night this week. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s almost like he’s avoiding something, but we tried not to push him on it. Truth be told, I didn’t know that much about Praetor Lupus before a couple weeks ago. I guess he really is this busy and—why are you staring at me?”  
  
“Um,” said Simon. “Rewind. I didn’t hear anything past the part where you mentioned that Jace planned this party.”   
  
Clary laughed. “Yeah. I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately either. But I’m glad the two of you are friends now. When you stop fighting, it’s apparent that the two of you really have a lot in common.”   
  
“Did he tell you we were friends?” asked Simon.   
  
“Um,” said Clary. “I guess not in so many words. Oh wait. Are you not?” she asked, laughing nervously in confusion.   
  
“Simon, sorry to ruin your party, but can you actually sing?” asked Maia coming up behind him and Clary, Jace in tow. “The DJ we booked had a family emergency and has to leave, and people don’t like his song selections anyway.”

“Oh thank G-,” Simon choked. “Thank the angel. Can I say that?” asked Simon to the sky. “Oh cool, I guess I can say that. Thanks, Angel!” said Simon staring up at the sky. Then, looking at Maia, he continued, “I thought you’d never ask,” he said getting up from his seat.

As if right on cue, the song that was currently playing ended, and nothing came on after it. Simon looked over and could see the DJ start packing up his things.

“Can’t keep the crowd waiting too long for the next song,” said Simon rushing over to a raised platform where the DJ was just leaving.  

Simon pulled his laptop out of his messenger bag and began plugging it into the sound system. Then, he did a little arpeggio on the synthesizer keys to sound check it. The Hunter’s Moon had recently invested in a nice set-up, which meant that Simon didn’t have to lug all his equipment in his truck when he played there like he did for other gigs. It was useful now that Simon had this forehead situation. Kyle and Alec had agreed that in addition to everything else, Simon shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car either. It wasn’t clear if the mark would activate if someone were to crash into him by accident, even if he were in the passenger seat. So, they decided to play it safe. It wasn’t like he was allowed to play gigs right now anyway, but this was a closed party. Hopefully no one would attack him right now.

Simon tapped out a beat on the drum pad. And people snapped their heads in their direction. He had perfected the looping software so he could create the music on the spot. It was pretty simple to do, but it impressed the audience easily. Simon saw Bat already dancing out the corner of his eye behind the bar. Maia had trained him after Zeke quit, and he was on duty tonight so that Maia could enjoy the party. Bat was definitely the kind of person that wasn’t afraid to embarrass himself and be the only one dancing.

Simon saw that Maia and Jace were back sitting at the table, and their eyes were on him along with the rest of their friends. Even Magnus had stopped talking about celebrity encounters through the centuries long enough to pay attention. Simon noted that the last time he played, Jace had nodded at him but had ceased paying attention promptly and had mostly looked disinterested the whole night, but tonight he hadn’t looked away once.

After Simon finished layering the intro, he began to sing, his voice a little raspy from only drinking blood and not singing in what felt like ages, but luckily it fit the mood of the song.

The song wasn’t a ballad by any means but it was a little on the slow side compared to his other songs so people mostly bobbed their heads along. But after it was finished, he promptly started a more uptempo one, and people began pouring out on the dance floor.

Simon noticed Clary try to pull Jace unto the dance floor, but he refused. So Maia and Clary went and began dancing together. It was good to see them getting along, especially after the butterfly tattoo debacle. He and Jace had proved that they could be civil after that incident, but it was good to see it from Maia and Clary as well.

Simon noticed awkward flailing in his peripheral vision and realized that it was Alec trying to keep up with Magnus. Magnus was clearly an amazing dancer. Alec was clearly a horrible dancer. His limbs were a little too long, and he didn’t quite know what to do with them, so they were kind of going all over the place. Simon almost burst out laughing on the spot, but he kept his cool and continued performing.

After a while, Simon ran out of material, so he announced his last song, played it, and was done. He opened up Spotify and put on a playlist, leaving his laptop up there so they wouldn’t be entirely songless for the rest of the night..

A line dance came on, and Clary and Maia as the resident ex-Mundanes began teaching the group how to do it. Simon ran back to where Jace was sitting. He was used to feeling all hot and sweaty after a gig and needing a sip of water to cool off, but when he made it to the table, he remembered that he was a vampire and had endless endurance. So he just took a sip of blood so it didn’t look like he’d come to the table for nothing.

“Why didn’t you want to dance with Clary?” asked Simon. Then he gasped. “Wait, you’re not self-conscious about your dancing abilities, are you? Because trust me, no one can be worse at dancing than Alec.”

Jace actually snorted before remembering that maybe he should be more defensive of his parabatai. “I’m not big on dancing,” he replied. “I mean I’m good at it, obviously, but I don’t like to.”

Simon just rolled his eyes. “Well this dance is really fun, let’s try it?” asked Simon offering his hand. “I’ll teach it to you.”

Had he just asked Jace to dance? Of course it had been in a very platonic manner—at least he hoped it had come off that way. Jace looked down at his hand as if he were actually considering the offer. Then he smiled apologetically.

“Raincheck?” he asked.

“Of course,” said Simon, smiling. It took every fiber of his being to not go out on the dance floor and do the “Wobble” with everyone else, but Jace had looked rather alone at the table, so Simon decided to keep him company. He was trying to do his best Nick Garroway impression and not judge Jace for not wanting to go out on the dance floor. The thought that Nick had ended up having a big time crush on Gatsby crossed his mind. At least the character had been coded that way and—why was Simon thinking about queer-coding in _The Great Gatsby_ all of a sudden?!

“Good job with your set,” Jace said.

“Oh you liked it?” asked Simon quickly.

“That’s not what I said,” said Jace smirking.

Simon crossed his arms. “What do you know about music anyway?”

Jace scoffed, offended. “You know you’re speaking to a classically-trained pianist, right?”

“What? Wow! I actually didn’t know that,” said Simon excitedly. “I’ve actually been wanting to get a good piano sample recorded for one of my songs but I’m not that great beyond “Chopsticks” and the sound quality sucks if you try to do it digitally. I was always better at guitar, you know. But that’s awesome though. They teach you how to fight demons at the Institute with a little Beethoven on the side for the culture! What do Alec and Izzy play?”

“They don’t play.”

“Huh?”

“And I didn’t learn how to play at the Institute. Valentine taught me.”

“Oh yikes sorry,” said Simon.”I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories.”

Jace shrugged. “I am glad he taught me. I haven’t played since he died though. I wouldn’t mind recording something for one of your songs, if you want. If that’s what you were asking.”

“What? Really?” asked Simon. “Am I in the twilight zone?”

Jace shrugged again and smiled. “Yeah, I don’t mind. And stop freaking out about it before I change my mind.”

“Okay, okay. Well this night turned out better than I expected,” said Simon. “Thanks!”

“Why are you thanking me?” asked Jace, sipping his drink. Simon noticed he was drinking what seemed to be a pretty strong whiskey sour.

“Clary told me you planned this.”

“Ehh, It was more of a group effort,” said Jace not even flinching after swallowing the alcohol. “I may have mentioned to the group that babysitting you when you’re bummed about having no friends to hang with is literally the last thing I’d like to be doing, and they took it from there.”

“Oh, I see,” said Simon. Then he grinned cheekily. “So that means you’d enjoy babysitting me when I’m happy?”

“Enjoy is a strong word,” said Jace, “But sure. I definitely strongly prefer it to the alternative.”

“Noted,” Simon said.

“So are you happy now?” asked Jace.

Simon chuckled. “Are _you_?”

“That wasn’t the question,” replied Jace grumpily.

“On that note, I think it’s time for me to head to home—I mean I guess if you don’t mind taking me. I can really get there by myself.”

“Parties aren’t really my scene,” said Jace. “Sure, I’ll take you.”

Jace stood. Or at least he tried to, but he began wobbling as soon as he was standing. Simon rushed over to steady him, but Jace shoved him off, putting his hands on the table to keep his balance.

“Did someone drug your drink?” asked Simon.

“No,” said Jace. “I may have had too many whiskey sours.”

“How many is too many?” asked Simon.

“I don’t know. Six, seven, eight maybe? I lost count.”

“What?” asked Simon in disbelief.

Jace miraculously wasn’t slurring his speech, but it was clear that walking would not be in his best interest right now. He took out his stele from his pocket, but his hand was shaking too much for him to draw a rune.

“Quick,” said Jace. “Steady my hand. I can’t let Clary see me like this.”

“I mean they’re all drunk too.”

“Simon, _please._ ”

Simon sighed and wrapped his hand over Jace’s much larger one, stilling it so that Jace could draw the rune.

“I didn’t even know there as an anti-drunk rune,” said Simon after Jace has finished. Jace’s motor skills had returned to a more sober level.

“They don’t. It’s just an agility rune. Typically works until I sober up naturally. I did precision, surefootedness, and equilibrium for good measure too.”

“Are you sure that’s safe? Like maybe using runes to sober up one time sounds safe, but the fact that you know it works means you’ve done it multiple times.”

“Let’s go,” said Jace.

Simon took that to mean ‘let it go’ as well as ‘let’s go.’ They started walking towards the exit, but as soon as they did, their drinking friends noticed they were leaving. Jace stood awkwardly by while they all hugged Simon. Even Alec gave Simon an obligatory pat on the shoulder. Simon noticed that no one hugged Jace except for Clary. He knew that Jace had never really wanted to hug him per se, but it hadn’t really dawned on him that Jace just wasn’t the hugging type in general. He had seen him hug Alec one time, but it had been after a particularly rough fight with demons. And he’d never seen him hug Isabelle. That wasn’t to say that it didn’t happen, but Simon had definitely never seen it.

Finally, they left the building. And they walked wordlessly home.

***

Simon slumped down in the chair, tired after the party.   
  
“Long day?”   
  
Simon jumped.   
  
“Easy, Daylighter. You really didn’t see me sitting here?”

“Um, no I didn’t,” said Simon. “Sitting in the dark is usually a vamp thing, not a werewolf thing.”

Kyle ignored that. “See, this is why Jace and I are protecting you,” he replied. “You can’t just let your guard down like that. I could have been someone else.”

Kyle was sitting across from Simon in the chair opposite him.

“Protecting me?” Simon scoffed. “Yeah, Jace _maybe_ , but you have been MIA all week. You even missed the party.”   
  
“I know, but something doesn’t feel right about these Midtown murders,” said Kyle. “I told Jace I would do some investigating and try to see if whoever’s behind it is doing it because of you. He’s been taking some time off from Shadowhunting anyway because he’s still getting it together from his new protection rune. They’re not sure it’s taking to him as it should be. But no matter about that. Yes, I’ve been patrolling with Isabelle, Clarissa, and that dickhead Raj all week. Jace really didn’t tell you anything about this?”   
  
“Um, no,” said Simon his mind rushing a mile a minute to see if he was somehow misremembering anything that Jace had told him at the Hunter’s Moon. “I think I would have remembered if he’d mentioned anything like that. Anyway, so you’re patrolling with the Shadowhunters now?”   
  
“Were you even paying attention to anything I just said? Yes, I am helping, but only because I have a strong suspicion that the culprit of the attacks might be targeting you somehow. Shadowhunting: not my territory. You: my territory. Got it?”   
  
“Well, I really don’t think whoever is behind this is after me,” said Simon. “But thanks for the concern, I guess.”   
  
“I’m not surprised that you think that given the fact that you didn’t even see me sitting across from you when you came in. If someone were trying to target you, you could be staring them right in the face and you wouldn’t even know it,” said Kyle rolling his eyes. “Anyway, if you were paying any attention at all when you came in, someone strange was definitely here while I was out and while you were at the party.”   
  
Simon rolled his eyes. Yes, the party Kyle had clearly been avoiding going to. “What makes you think that?”   
  
“Well the door’s a little off its hinge for starters. It’s like someone tried to force their way in while it was still locked and...why are you laughing, Simon? This is serious.”   
  
“I,” said Simon in between fits of laughter. “I think I might have an explanation for the door.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thanks everyone for reading and leaving kudos! If you have any thoughts, comments, or suggestions, please let me know!


	4. to love is to destory

“So what’s your explanation for the door?” asked Kyle.

“Um,” said Simon. “Well this is going to sound dumb when I say it out loud but Jace came over to pick me up for the party—well before I knew it was a party—and I was trying to put my boot on and I sort of fell. He thought someone was attacking me, so he broke down the door.”

“Ugh,” said Kyle. “Our landlady specified she wanted nice, respectable people living here, preferably grad students with a cat that she could visit, but instead she got two hard rock loving Downworlders, one with an overprotective best friend who literally broke down a door when there’s literally a rune for that.”

“So there _is_ an Alohomora rune!” Simon exclaimed.

“A what?”

“ _Harry Potter_ , dude. Oh we _so_ can’t be friends if you don’t get that reference. And speaking of friends, Jace is _not_ my best friend. To tell you the truth, we’re kind of barely regular friends at this point.”

“Barely regular friends?” Kyle repeated. “Yeah right. Would someone who’s barely your friend _break down a door_ just to save you from your shoe? That idiot cares too much about you,” Kyle remarked. “Confession: you know, I totally thought he was your boyfriend when he started scoping out the place and getting all defensive of you when he found my wolf's bane. But then you mentioned that you’re dating...well you know the rest of the story.”

Simon laughed. “Okay, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Speaking of Maia, I really wish you could have gone to the party so you could meet her. Not that I think that all werewolves automatically get along or anything like that, but I think you’d like her.”

Simon thought Kyle looked uncomfortable for a moment, but then he smiled. Maybe it was Simon’s imagination. “I probably would,” he mused. “Next time,” Kyle promised. Then suddenly, “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

Kyle got up from where he was sitting, went into his room, and shut the door behind him.

Well that was sudden.

Now that Simon thought about it, Kyle _was_ behaving weirdly around him. He hadn’t even been able to mention Maia’s name around him and had said that Simon was his territory. Was Kyle jealous of Maia? Did Kyle like him? Like, _like_ like him?

Simon tried not to entertain the idea, but once he’d thought about it once, it was hard to get the thought out of his head. Simon was conflicted. It didn’t take rocket science to come to the realization that his relationship with Maia was stilted at best. Their biggest issue as of late had been the awkward double date, but that had turned out fine. But still, Simon sometimes felt like their feelings for one another didn’t quite line up.

Before Maia, he had only ever dated Clary and had been pretty exclusively only attracted to her. But now, if he were being quite honest with himself, he wasn’t so sure he was entirely straight anymore. He remembered when Kyle had literally run into him on his bike and the thrumming in his heart the whole day when he realized how similar the two were. At first, when Simon had found out about the Praetor, he’d assumed that Kyle’s whole charade had been a sham, but later Simon found out that he and Kyle really were interested in a lot of the same stuff. If he hadn’t been dating Maia and Kyle had asked him out, Simon couldn’t convince himself that he wouldn’t have experimented a little.

But now? Honestly, Simon was a little pissed at the guy. Even if he and Maia weren’t together, Kyle could be incredibly secretive and patronizing at times. Even Jace was typically reliable and understanding in his role as Simon’s protector.

Jace.

Suddenly an image of two different color eyes lit up Simon’s imagination and there was a dull ache in his chest as if someone had punched him there a week ago and it hadn’t healed. Simon couldn’t lie to himself anymore. While Kyle had been a fleeting thought weeks ago—a mile-marker symbolizing Simon’s questioning of his identity, Jace was like a gigantic anchor dropped in the sea of his emotions. Why was this happening to him right now? Nothing good could come of it. Jace loved Clary, and Simon was supposed to love Maia.

Simon got up with a sigh. Maybe tomorrow, things would got back to normal.

***

The next day, things didn’t go back to normal.

Simon was sitting at the kitchen table the following morning with Kyle who was busy pouring over what looked like complicated paperwork. Simon wanted to ask what he could possibly be doing, but he didn’t want to be rude. At the moment, he looked less like a member of Praetor Lupus and more like an accountant.

Simon had just poured himself a second glass of blood—he had recently decided that he felt more normal when he drank it out of a glass than a bag—when he heard a knock at the door. A part of him hoped that it was Jace, before Simon realized he shouldn’t be so eager to see him. So much for things going back to normal.

“You’re not expecting anyone are you?” asked Kyle quietly. Simon shook his head ‘no’ in response. “Well then I’ll answer in case it’s a demon.”

“Why would a demon knock at our front door?” asked Simon.

“You never know,” said Kyle, walking to the door with a grin. But when he opened the door, the grin slid off his face.

“Jordan,” said Maia, a look of shock and fear on her face as she slowly backed up. “Simon, what’s _he_ doing here?”

“Huh?” asked Simon in confusion. “This is my roommate, Kyle. The one I told you about from Praetor Lupus. Wait, wasn’t your ex-boyfriend named Jordan something? Jordan—“

“Kyle,” Jordan finished. “Jordan Kyle.”

Simon finally figured out what was going on. “This is Jordan? _The_ Jordan? Your ex?” asked Simon jumping up and rushing over to them with vampire speed. Maia looked like she was about to start hyperventilating. She handed Simon something and took off running. Simon looked down at his hands. Maia had handed him his laptop which was secure in its case. He must have left it at the Hunter’s Moon last night after putting the playlist on.

Simon stalked past Jordan into the kitchen to set his laptop down. He almost slammed it down angrily before he remembered how much his mom had shelled out for it. After he set it down, he walked over to the door.

“I have to go find her now, but don’t think I won’t have words for you later,” said Simon, turning to leave.

“Wait!” Jordan called. “I have to go with you. Your-your mark,” he stammered.

“”You’re an idiot if you think I’m going with _you_ anywhere,” said Simon. “Jace will handle it.”

***

When Simon got out to the street, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Jace’s number. It rang several times, and Simon worried that he wouldn't pick up. Then what would he do?

“Hello?” Jace answered finally, out of breath. Simon heard what sounded like fighting and Jace grunting as his fist connected with someone.

“Jace?” Simon asked. “What are you doing.”

“What does it sound like? I’m trying to kick some demon ass, but you’re ruining it.”

“Well why’d you answer while you’re fighting?”

“Because you’re a priority.”

Simon heard a boot connecting with whatever demon Jace was currently trying to kill.

“How are you talking to me right now? Are you holding the phone with one hand and fighting with the other?”

“No—you—idiot,” said Jace between breaths. “I put you on speaker. Did Maia bring you your laptop?”

More fighting noises ensued.

“Um yeah, about that…” Simon trailed off. “Where _are_ you? We need to talk.”

“I’m in the alleyway behind the Hunter’s Moon, but after I’ll kill this demon I’ll come right ov—“

“Too late,” said Simon, already in the alleyway. He pressed end on his phone.

“By the Angel, you _are_ fast,” said Jace. “And an idiot. You shouldn’t be out by yourself right no—ahhh!”

Jace had been so distracted talking to Simon, he’d let his guard down, and the demon seized him. Simon jumped to his defense, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him from the demon’s grasp. Jace stumbled and Simon stepped in front of him so that he was between Jace and the demon.

The demon rushed at Simon, but it immediately disintegrated, turning into a white substance at his feet. Simon slowly backed away from the pile of rubble in surprise, but the alley was small, so his back promptly hit the wall.

“Was that because of your mark?” asked Jace out of breath in astonishment. “You didn’t tell me that’s what it does. By the angel, I’ve almost punched you several times since finding out,” said Jace grasping his chest.

“How can you possibly be thinking of yourself at a time like this?” Simon asked almost hyperventilating. “And _that_ ,” said Simon gesturing to the white pile in front of them, “Has _definitely_ never happened before,” said Simon.

Jace crouched down, and pinched some of the dust between his fingers. “It’s almost like glass, but it’s not sharp enough,” he said. Then, “Simon, I think this is _salt._ ”

“What the _hell_?” Simon gasped out.

“See this is why we haven’t been letting you go out by yourself,” said Jace as if he were trying to play it cool, but even he couldn’t hide how freaked out he was by what had just happened. He stood up.

“I saved your life, and this is the thanks I get?” asked Simon. “I don’t need a lecture. What are you doing fighting demons anyway? I thought you were supposed to be taking time off.”

Jace’s eyes narrowed. “I never told you about that.”

“Sorry,” said Simon. “I didn’t know it was a secret or anything. Kyle mentioned it to me in passing.”

“It’s _not_ a secret. I—I just didn’t want to worry you is all. You clearly have enough on your plate as it is. You don’t need to be dealing with my crap too. But you’re right. I _am_ taking time off, but a demon attacked while I was day-drinking, and I was the only Shadowhunter around. I was pretty much the only one around in general. It’s nearly noon.”“So that’s how you knew about the laptop. Maia was here.”

“What’s going on?” asked Jace.

“You know Kyle?” asked Simon nervously. “I just found out that his real identity is Jordan Kyle. Also known as Maia’s extremely abusive ex-boyfriend and the werewolf who turned her. He answered the door when she came to return my laptop. She didn’t know they were the same person. Neither did I.”

“Oh no,” Jace replied gravely

“She ran off, and I’ve got to find her and help calm her down, but she’s vulnerable and angry right now, and if she transforms, she might come at me, and…” Simon was too overwhelmed to finish the thought for a moment. “I was worried before, which is why I came to ask you to go with me, but now with the salt, I really can’t risk going alone. And I...” Simon trailed off once more. Honestly since he’d pulverized the demon, he hadn’t stopped hyperventilating. Simon grabbed Jace’s hands. “Jace,” Simon pleaded, looking straight into his different-colored eyes. “Please don’t let me hurt Maia. I couldn’t live with myself if I did. Come with me. _Please_.”

“Breathe, Simon,” said Jace, squeezing his hands back. “Of course I’ll help you. I promise. I won’t let you hurt her. I swear it on my life.”

Simon let out a breath. A shy smile crept to his lips. “I don’t need to breathe, you know. Vampires don’t.”

“I know,” Jace sighed. “But I forget sometimes.”

“Me too,” Simon replied.

“Well, I definitely don’t need to still be clasping onto your hands,” said Jace quickly letting him go.

Simon had to admit Jace’s brusqueness stung a little bit, but Simon hoped Jace didn’t catch on to that.

“Let’s go.”

***

“Take this exit,” said Simon.

They had decided to risk taking Simon’s van to the shore, but only if Jace drove. It was either that or NJ Transit, which was known to be unreliable.

Jace was a surprisingly good and calm driver. Simon had half expected him to be prone to road-rage, but he was presently surprised.

Simon felt bad about it, but they had used a tracking rune to track her here or rather, this is where Simon assumed she was going once they figured out what direction she was heading in. She had arrived here not too long before them, and according to Jace was sitting on the beach.

“Why would she come all the way down here?” asked Jace. “Kyle, I mean Jordan must have hurt her bad if she came running to the Jersey Shore of all places.”

“Don’t joke about it. He really hurt her, both physically and emotionally. Plus, it’s not random—her coming here. This is where she’s from—where it happened,” said Simon quietly.

“If Magnus were here, he’d say something cerebral about how the mind returns to where it was wounded or something like that,” remarked Jace taking the exit.

“Probably,” Simon agreed.

Jace followed the signs to the beach. When they first got off the exit, there were a lot of trees and buildings, but as the van drew closer to the ocean, they slowly thinned before fading away into the distance.

After what seemed like forever, they made it as close as they could get to the beach via car before Jace had to park. Luckily, it was a rainy day, so people weren’t out in case things took a turn for the worse.

“I don’t come down here that often,” said Jace as they walked towards the beach. “You think we would, given the proximity, but the Jersey Shore Shadowhunters can be real dickheads.”

“I’m sure that’s what they say about the New York ones,” Simon quipped.

“Touché,” said Jace.

“There she is,” said Simon suddenly.

“I think you mean there _they_ are,” said Jace.

“What’s _he_ doing here. I told him to stay put.”

“Well obviously if he were good at listening, he and Maia wouldn’t have broken up.”

Maia and Jordan were talking. Or rather, they were  having a quite intense heated discussion. Simon figured that Jace couldn’t hear, but Simon tapped into his vampire senses to try to find out what they were talking about as he and Jace walked closer to them.

“Why won’t you let me hate you?” Maia was saying.

That wasn’t good. Simon wanted her to hate him, and yet it seemed like she was admitting to herself—and to Jordan as well—that she was unable to do so.

“I’ve changed a lot since then, Maia,” said Jordan. “I wish I had found the Praetor sooner, or that they had found me. Then this never would have happened to you. But the organization is growing, and with Luke’s help, they are able to tap into police records so that we can detect fledglings and the like more quickly so what happened to me—no, what happened to _us_ doesn’t happen to anyone else ever again.”

Much of this was news to Simon. He had no idea that Luke knew about Jordan or Praetor Lupus, let alone that he was _helping_ them.

“But don’t worry,” Jordan continued. “I’ve requested to be taken off the case. I promise you—I had no idea Simon was involved with you when I took it. I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I had—I swear it. It’s a conflict of interest—a big one, and I should have never been assigned in the first place.”

“Absolutely _not_ ,” said Maia. “You are _not_ going to abandon Simon like you abandoned me. I refuse to let that happen. He needs you to protect him— _both_ of you,” she clarified looking in Jace’s direction.

“Must suck dating a Downworlder,” Jace said. “You can’t even sneak up on your girlfriend and surprise her.”

“Shut up, Herondale,” said Jordan. “We knew you were coming. We could smell your ugly stench from a mile away. Literally.”

“If I were you, I’d stop talking. Let him go, Maia,” said Jace. “I don’t need his help to protect Simon. I can handle that on my own.”

“You could hear what they were saying?” asked Simon in confusion. “But we were so far away.”

“There’s a rune for that,” said Jace pointing to one that was drawn just behind his ear.

“I’d like to speak to Simon alone, please,” said Maia. “Can you give us a moment?”

“Actually no,” said Jace. “Simon just accidentally turned a demon into a pile of salt, and quite frankly I don’t trust any of us to have a level-headed discussion alone. In fact, I have met zero peaceful Downworlders _or_ Shadowhunters in my entire life. It’s not part of the job description.

“Clary’s pretty calm,” Maia mused.

Jace actually laughed out loud. “Well obviously, you don’t know her well enough.”

“I _was_ explicitly instructed not to mess with Red when I came here,” said Jordan. “But that’s besides the point. Simon turned a demon into salt? That’s now how the mark works.”

“Well it is now, apparently,” said Jace. “Which you’d know if you’d been protecting him like you’re supposed to.”

Simon felt like a child whose parents were fighting over who had custody except it was the opposite: no one seemed to want him.

“You can trust me for five minutes to have a conversation with Simon,” said Maia. “Plus, it’s like what you said earlier, Jace: even if you two walk off, it’s not like you want be able to hear what’s going on anyway. The aloneness is just for the aesthetic. If you’re off somewhere, at least I can pretend you’re not listening.”

“Fine,” said Jace. “But if you turn into salt, it’s not on me,” said Jace, stalking away. Jordan held her gaze for a moment before taking off in the direction that Jace went.

“I’m sorry this had to happen like this,” Simon admitted. “I had no idea.”

“I know,” said Maia. “Joran told me everything. He defended you actually.”  
  
“He did?” asked Simon.

“Jordan is—” said Maia, but she couldn’t think of how to finish her thought for a second. “He’s a lot of things.”

“Well, that’s an understatement.”

Maia smiled for a moment, but then she frowned. “Simon, I think we should take a break.”

“You’re not seriously considering going back to him, are you?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But you didn’t answer the question.”

“When you hear these stories—the ones about people in abusive relationships—it’s always so easy to think: how could she ever go back to him? But these stories are always about normal people with normal lives. What if a person isn’t in control of their actions? I want to hate him,” said Maia, her voice breaking on hate. A tear slipped out of her left eye, and then another and another. “But I _can’t_. I can’t feel anything right now.”

“I understand,” said Simon when all he wanted to say was that he didn’t. Yes, Jordan hadn’t been in control of his actions, but he had been in control of the way he dealt with the consequences. Jordan shouldn’t have left Maia to go through turning alone. Period. But Simon couldn’t say that right now. He didn’t want to tell her what to think or how to feel. He wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t Jordan.

Truth be told, Simon felt guilty. He had just been thinking of his waning feelings for Maia, but he hadn’t meant for their relationship to come to such an abrupt end, which is where it seemed to be heading right now. But he couldn’t say that every part of his heart was displeased with this situation. There was a part of it, albeit small, that was relieved.

“I haven’t decided anything, but it’s clear that I don’t need to be in relationship with _anyone_ right now. Not you, not him. I just need space to think. Can you give me that?”

“Of course, Maia,” said Simon. “I’ll give you anything you ask of me. You want it to be over?

“Yes,” Maia choked out.

“Then it’s over.”

***  
  
Jace didn’t say anything the entire drive home. Simon knew he’d heard everything anyway, so there was nothing _to_ say.

“I’m sorry you had to be here for this,” said Simon. “I wasn’t expecting Maia and I to break up.”

“So you broke up,” asked Jace quietly, but it came out more like a statement than a question.

“Huh?” asked Simon. “I thought you could hear everything.”

“I temporarily deactivated my rune,” said Jace. “I thought I’d give you two your privacy. You deserve as much. You can tell me what happened if you want, but I figured you would anyway if you wanted me to know and that you’d just keep it to yourself if you didn’t.”

“I don’t deserve you, Jace.”

Jace looked surprised that Simon had said that for a moment, but he kept his eyes on the road.

“You don’t want me as a friend, Simon. I have my own demons. I know what I said back there, but I’m no good at protecting you. First you died, then you turned into a vampire, and now you’ve pulverized a demon, all under my watch. I’ve failed you time and time again. It’s why I push you away, yet keep coming back. It’s what I do with everyone. My father taught me that to love is to destroy, but my tragic flaw is that I have too much love to give. I care about all of you too much: Alec, Isabelle, Clary, and now _you_. If something were to happen to one of you, I couldn’t live with myself.”

Jace was so close to passing part two of the friendship test, but he hadn’t quite admitted that they were friends. He had strongly implied it, but he had more so done the opposite, implying that they _couldn’t_ be friends. But they were going somewhere at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may seem like a good stopping place, but I promise there will definitely be more chapters! We haven't even gotten to the romance yet... As you can see, I will be slowly incorporating some plot lines from the show and book so that it's a least somewhat canon compliant.
> 
> I love Jimon, but I noticed that in a lot of fanfics, the breakups with Maia and Clary tend to happen off-screen, which is fine, but I wanted to explore what it's like for Jace and Simon to confront these issues head on. I hope you liked it!
> 
> Thanks again for reading! It's super exciting when I get an e-mail that you all left kudos or comments. As always, I'm super open to feedback or suggestions, so definitely leave some if you have them! :)


	5. the boy who cried wolf

Jace heard a knock on his door.

“Just a moment,” he called.

He was in the middle of taking off his boots, and the action triggered the memory of when Simon had been in a similar predicament not too long ago. At the time, Simon had claimed that the whole incident had been just for show—a test. Jace suspected otherwise, but this was a different time and a different place.

Jace was sitting on the edge of his bed for starters, and his angelic grace prevented him from losing his footing anyway. Theoretically, Simon’s vampire capabilities should have done the same for him, but it was obvious that wasn’t the case. Jace smirked to himself. If there were anyone who could come out of a vampiric transformation still being ridiculously clumsy, it would be Simon Lewis.

Jace walked to the door and opened it.

It was Clary.

“Hey,” said Jace trying not to sound too guilty. He felt like that was all he sounded like now.

“Where have you been all night? It’s nearly 6AM. Alec is mad at you,” said Clary, which Jace interpreted to mean that _she_ was mad at him.

“I know.”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” said Jace, opening the door wide enough to let Clary in.

“We had plans yesterday.”

“I know. I’m sorry, but Simon needed me.”

“You should have alerted us a soon as the demon attacked.”

“By the time you got there, it would have been gone. It could have killed mundanes. You of all people should know that I can’t just sit back and watch chaos unfold around me.”

“I know,” said Clary. “But the time off is part of your treatment. Periodically escorting Simon around the city is one thing, but engaging in combat with powerful demons and then _leaving the state_ without telling anyone is another. You weren’t answering your phone, and we were worried sick. You know, you said before your protection ritual that there was a time when you’d not know where you’d been for extended periods of time. We thought you might relapse. We know you haven’t been taking to the treatment like you should be.”

“Are you done?” asked Jace. “I know what I did, and I shouldn’t have done it, but I’d do it again—a thousand times over. Time was of the essence. We didn’t know what state of mind Maia would be in. I couldn’t refuse him. He begged me, Clary. You should have seen the look on his face.”

Clary sighed. “We were just worried about you.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Jace said. He would have promised her that it wouldn’t happen again, but he knew that he couldn’t guarantee that.

“You’ve been drinking again,” Clary stated quietly. “Alec said the demon attacked while you were at the Hunter’s Moon. And Simon said you got back to the city around 5:30PM. He didn’t know where you’d gone all night either.”

Jace groaned internally. Couldn’t his parabatai have kept that part of the story to himself? Jace sighed. Even still, there was no good excuse for his going out all night, and he _had_ been drinking. And he probably reeked of alcohol.

“I’m trying to understand and be here for you, but I can’t rationalize why you would keep drinking excessively when the Silent Brothers recommended against it for your treatment,” Clary continued.

“I have nothing to do all day. Or night.”

“That’s not true, Jace, and you know it. Alec offered you the option to still work internally as a Shadowhunter. You were really helping with the Midtown case, but it just seems like you kind of fell off it.”

“It was miserable. We’d get a breakthrough, and everyone would go off to fight and I’d have to stay behind. _Or_ you’d come back from fighting or patrol and have to fill me in on every single little detail, wasting precious time that could be used solving cases. I hated it.”

“But the drinking?”

Jace shrugged. “It’s how I pass the time now.”

Clary scoffed. “It’s great to know that if you weren’t a Shadowhunter, you’d be a borderline alcoholic.”

“Clary,” Jace said quietly. “You know that’s a low blow. I thought of all people, you would support me. Ever since the protection ritual, I haven’t been back to normal like they said I would be. I can’t explain it, but I can’t sleep at night, and I feel this indescribable weight eating at me. It’s like something’s crawling under every inch of my skin, and I can’t get rid of it. I only feel better when I’m drinking, but even that only slightly helps.”

“Then why not go back to them and ask for a different treatment?” asked Clary. Jace was silent. He looked away. “You’re afraid they’ll derune you,” she realized.

“That’s already inevitable. That and the fact that they haven’t had to redo a Shadowhunter’s protection rune in years. There _isn’t_ another cure. Plus, our shoddy excuse for why I needed it didn’t help much. I still can’t believe they bought that Valentine removed it to possess me. They don’t know the angel was summoned, they don’t know I died, and honestly sometimes I wish you had let me stay that way.”

“Jace, you don’t mean that.”

“It’s true, Clary. I don’t know anything else besides Shadowhunting. Not being one is as good as being dead. And I can’t do it to the best of my ability with the way I’m feeling right now—even I’m smart enough to know that. I’m off my game. I could barely take one demon by myself yesterday when I used to be able take five alone with my eyes closed. Who knows what would have happened if Simon hadn’t shown up. You asked me if this is what I’d be like if I couldn’t be a Shadowhunter, but the answer is right in front of us. They gave me a 6-week trajectory for healing, and they said that if it didn’t work, then I’m done, so you’ll get to see that reality very soon. In fact, it’s already here. It’s already been here for almost three weeks now. My time’s halfway up. I can hold out a little hope, but the question is, if and when I’m not a Shadowhunter anymore, will you still be able to love me?”

“It’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love himself,” said Clary quietly. "And it’s hard to know if I even feel love for you right now.”

Jace was silent for a long moment. He hadn’t expected Clary to say that at all. He had never thought a time would come when she would stop loving him. He wasn’t prepared to react.

“I see,” he replied finally.

“I don’t want to leave you while you’re vulnerable.”

“It’s better that it ends sooner rather than later if our falling out of love is as inevitable as me becoming a mundane.”

“At least we agree on something, then.”

***

Simon turned over. The sunlight was already streaming in through the window. Although he was a Daylighter, his vampire physiology made him crave the dark, especially in moments like these. He reached up to pull to covers over his head so that he could hide under them, but something stopped him. Usually he wouldn’t open his eyes, lest the brightness shock his dilated pupils, but something told him to open them this time.

Jace.

He was sitting in Simon’s desk chair, looking wistfully out the window.

“How did you get in here?” asked Simon freaking out and sitting up straight.

“I have my ways.”

“Jordan would have a cow if he found out you broke in. He already put another deadbolt on the door even though I told him you were the one who broke it down.”

“Then it can be our little secret. Plus, if I was the person who broke in originally, then you don’t have to worry about anyone else _but_ me breaking in.”

“That sounds illogical, but I’m too tired to reason against it.” Simon rubbed his eyes. “Did you tell the others you’re alright? Clary was worried sick about you. I even got a panicked text from Alec.”

“Yes, they know.” Jace was still looking out the window. Simon just looked at him in confusion.

“What are you doing here then?”

“Do you have a book I can borrow?”

Simon sunk back into the covers. “What time even is it?”

“7:30.”

“AM?!” asked Simon sitting back up dramatically.

“Well, it’s certainly not PM.” Jace was looking at him now with the ghost of a smile on his lips. Good. Simon's joke wasn’t for naught.

“Jace. Can you tell me _why_ you need a book at 7:30AM?”

“Bored.”

“Okay, okay, fine. Once again, I’m too tired for this. There’s some books on my bookshelf above the desk, and quite a few more in the box on the desk. I haven’t had time to unpack everything yet. Take your pick, but I’m not helping you,” said Simon. Then he sank back down and threw the covers over his head. He hoped Jace didn't bring up the fact that with all the time Simon had on his hands, he had nothing else better to do _than_ unpack.

Simon heard Jace stand. After a minute or so, Simon heard loud rummaging around in the box. Apparently Jace hadn’t been satisfied with the titles on his shelf. Simon was surprised all the commotion hadn’t woken up Jordan. Perhaps he had already left for Long Island.

Finally after what seemed like forever, he heard Jace sit down. A minute passed, and Jace turned a page. Simon wondered what book he had selected. He couldn’t remember which ones were in the box to begin with. But he concentrated on trying to get back to sleep instead.

Ten minutes passed, Jace had turned the page six more times, and Simon _still_ couldn’t sleep. He heard a small sniff. Oh great. Jace had a cold. That meant Simon definitely wasn’t going to get any sleep now. Another minute passed, and another page turn, and another sniff. And another sniff, and another sniff, and another.

Wait.

It sounded less sinus problems and more like crying. Simon peaked out of the covers. Jace was reading _A Tale of Two Cities_. Simon tried to remember what happened at the beginning of the book that would be making Jace so upset.

“I know it was the best of times and the worst of times, but is the book really that miserable?”

Jace’s head snapped up and Simon could see the pain in Jace’s eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” said Jace, quickly wiping the corner of his eye.

“I never fell back to sleep,” Simon admitted.

Simon got up and went over to Jace, gently taking the book from his hands and laying it on the desk. He tried to concentrate on figuring out what was wrong with Jace rather than focus on the lingering warmth in his fingertips from having just brushed them against Jace’s own. Simon leaned against the desk, crossed his arms, and tried to think straight thoughts.

“What up, dude?” Simon asked. There! That definitely sounded straight.

“Clary and I broke up,” said Jace almost choking on the words.

“Oh,” said Simon. That had been the last thing he’d been expecting.

Jace put his face in his hands.

“I’m an idiot,” Jace breathed.

“You sure act like one sometimes,” Simon agreed. “But contrary to popular belief, you’re not actually one. I know that for sure.”

“But you took your breakup with Maia so well, and here I am blubbering like an _idiot._ ”

Simon actually laughed. “Took it well, my ass. As soon as you left I cried my eyes out all night like the huge dork I am.”

Jace smiled. “You did?”

“Yeah. I did. And I’m not ashamed. Breaking up freaking _sucks_. No pun intended, given that I’m a vampire and all.”

Jace stood, and Simon couldn’t figure out why, but suddenly Jace was hugging him tightly, burying his head in Simon’s shoulder. At first, Simon was taken aback, but then he wrapped his arms around Jace and held him until he stopped crying.

***

“Three more weeks?!”

They were back in their original positions. Simon in his bed, and Jace on the chair, but he had wheeled it over so he was next to the bed. He was sitting in it the reverse way, with the chair back against his stomach and his arms draped over it. Simon couldn’t fathom how Jace managed to look so cool without even trying, even when he was feeling so miserable. Jace was wearing the customary leather jacket and black jeans. His shoes were off and his white socks were as impeccable as Simon had feared and imagined.

“But it doesn’t even matter,” Jace replied. “It might as well be three days. It’s almost poetic justice. Clary goes from being a mundane to a Shadowhunter, and I go from being a Shadowhunter to a mundane. I’m done with the Shadoworld.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“I do. You have permission to hate me now too, like Clary. I just have to accept that I won’t carry my friends and family with me into my new life.”

“I could never hate you, Jace.” Jace looked like he might cry again, but instead he just looked out the window. Simon continued, “And I’m sure Clary doesn’t hate you either.”

“Well since you know her so well, explain why she treated me like this then,” said Jace looking back at him. Then, ”Sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Simon sighed. “I don’t know. It’s not like her, but I could try to think of a reason, if you want. Did you ever read _The Boy Who Cried Wolf_?”

Jace shook his head ‘no.’ He looked like a small child as he rested his head on his arms that were slung over the chair. It was fitting that Simon was about to tell him a fairy tale.

“It’s a classic piece of literature,” Simon started, trying to sound cool. “By Aesop, a Grecian slave who lived during the 7th Century BCE. He wrote and collected folk tales that people still read today. The collection is commonly known as _Aesop’s Fables._ ”

“No way,” said Jace in awe. “I wish we’d had a copy in the Institute. I’m sorry I made fun of you for being a nerd before. You’re so well read. Did you read this wolf story in the original Greek?”

“Alas, no,” said Simon. “Only the English translation. My Greek is not so good. I took Latin in school, but not Greek.”

“My Greek could use some brushing up too,” Jace admitted. “So does this wolf story allude to the Downworld? Is it about werewolves? What’s it got to do with me?”

“So many questions. Patience you must have, my young padawan.”

“Huh? Is ‘padawan’ Greek for Shadowhunter?”

“Yes, yes it is,” said Simon quickly before realizing how dumb he was. Well, now he could never show Jace a _Star Wars_ film. That was at least eight movies down the drain. And good ones too. He was an idiot. “Anyway,” he said launching into the story before Jace could question why Simon would possibly have learned how to say Shadowhunter in Greek when he didn't know how to say _anything_ in Greek. “In the story, on several occasions a young shepherd tells the local villagers that a wolf is trying to attack his flock of sheep. In reality he’s just pranking them. But one day, a wolf actually _does_ come, but when the boy tells the villagers, no one believes him because of his reputation for lying. All of Aesop’s fables end with a moral, and the moral in this one is "this shows how liars are rewarded: even if they tell the truth, no one believes them."

“How haven’t I read this?” asked Jace still in awe.

Simon wanted to reply that ‘if Shadowhunters ever sat down and read a damn folk tale or two, they’d probably be a whole lot less reckless,’ but he refrained.

Instead Simon said, “Beats me. But from Clary’s perspective, it might seem like this is what’s going on with you. You have a reputation for being kind of a bad boy, Jace. You’re impulsive, you lie a lot, and you can be a little mean. I also heard from Alec that you had a stint in your teens where you rode on a motorcycle? Not that riding a motorcycle automatically makes you bad, but it certainly adds to the aesthetic.”

“Maryse said if I didn’t get rid of it, she’d disown me,” said Jace.

“That was great parenting on her part,” said Simon. “But moving on,” Simon continued. “When people see you on the street, they probably don’t think to themselves, ‘wow! I can probably trust that guy!’ That is, if you’re not glamoured and they actually can see you. Don’t think I forgot how we first met.”

“Hmm,” Jace said in response.

“And like I said,” Simon replied. “It’s not like that makes you a bad person, but from Clary’s perspective, you have this reputation for lying and just generally being yourself.”

“I see,” Jace replied.

“But don’t get me wrong,” said Simon quickly. “I think Clary’s being too hard on you. I think everyone is. Growing up with Valentine as a dad probably wasn’t a walk in the park. And I bet it’s super complex because he taught you things like ‘to love is to destroy’—like seriously, who teaches their kids that? But he also taught you many wonderful things like how to play the piano, which I think is pretty freaking awesome. There’s a lot of complexity there. Parents can demonstrate love for you while being abusive and manipulative jerks. On the contrary, Alec, Izzy, Max, and Clary all grew up in loving homes, for the most part at least. Your childhood affected you in ways that makes you behave in certain ways. Is it all acceptable? No, and you should probably apologize half the time, but that’s no grounds for them to give up on you. I didn’t tell you _The Boy Who Cried Wolf_ because I think you’re like the kid. I told you the story because I think you’re different from him. The shepherd was a punk—a prankster. You, on the other hand have nuance. And I vow that I will not rest until you’re back to your old self. And if that fails, then I will learn to accept the new version of you.”

“Why are you helping me?” asked Jace in a small voice. “I saved your life with my blood, and you saved mine with your mark yesterday. We’re even.”

“I refuse to count how many times we save each other’s lives. I don’t do it to pay you back or to clean the slate. I do it because I care about you, Jace Herondale.”

“I don’t deserve you, Simon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, again for reading. Sorry I just made you read two breakups in a row, but the sooner Simon and Jace break up with Maia and Clary, the sooner we get to the Jimon, am I right??? Yes, I am caught up on 3A, and the face-touch scene WILL be making a cameo in this story at some point, as well as some other details from some of the later episodes (as well as the books). Please stay tuned! 
> 
> The kudos and the comments literally make my heart melt. I'm so glad so many of you are reading (and enjoying) this story! As always, if you have any thoughts or suggestions, or something you would like to see, please leave a comment below! I can't make any guarantees, but I will try!


	6. a new protector

“Hey, Simon?”

“Yes, Jace?”

“You know how I told you in the past that I’d never let you hug me? I just want to say that for the record, earlier was a moment of weakness, and my resolve will be strong from now on. It didn’t happen, and we won’t mention it ever again, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Jace,” Simon replied, rolling his eyes. And he meant it because Jace was talking with his mouth full of a grilled cheese sandwich and Simon could barely understand him in the first place.

Simon was momentarily glad he wasn’t human. If he were, he would have blushed at Jace’s comment. Jace seemed to have accidentally implied that he frequently had strong urges to hug him, but had to resist his impulses. Or maybe Simon was reading too much into his words.

“You didn’t have to make this for me, by the way.”

“You don’t have to talk with your mouth full, but yet, here we are,” said Simon, taking a sip of his blood from his glass. He was kind of nervous to be drinking blood like this around Jace. Of course he’d done it in bars and dining establishments in Jace’s presence before. Heck, he’d even drunk Jace’s own blood at one point, but he’d been totally at the edge of his rope that night. And the restaurants were easy to explain away too. It was easier to drink it with the dim mood lighting, and truth be told, no one really paid any attention to him because they were distracted by the conversation. Of course, when he’d put blood on his fish on the awkward double date, Jace had said something, but to be quite honest, he’d shown more disgust when he thought it was ketchup than when he found out what it actually was.

Now, drinking it in broad daylight, Simon had no lighting to hide behind. But thankfully, Jace didn’t say anything about it. This was good. If they were going to be spending more time together, then Simon preferred that Jace tolerate his dietary restrictions. Being able to eat around him and not having to hide it was going to make his life a whole lot easier.

And he needed the blood right now. He hated to admit it, but when he’d hugged Jace earlier, he had started to feel his hunger come on. He’d just eaten last night, so it wasn’t like he was going to snap Jace’s neck and bleed him dry or anything, but the fact that he felt craving for his friends’ blood made Simon feel gross and terrible inside.

“What did you call this?” asked Jace, ignoring Simon’s reply and still speaking with his mouth full. Simon snapped out of his self-hating spiral. “A cheese-grilled sandwich?”

“Grilled cheese, Jace. Grilled. Cheese.” Simon smiled.

“Ah,” said Jace. “Is this what people from your culture eat?”

“You mean Jewish people?”

“Yeah.”

Simon was momentarily glad Jace remembered that he was Jewish. “I’m pretty sure most Americans eat it. Not just Jews.”

“Hmm. It’s a perfect blend of crispy bread and butter and cheese, sliced into triangles.”

“Yup, that’s a grilled cheese sandwich,” said Simon deadpan. Then he laughed. “How have you never had one of these?”

Jace just shrugged. “Wasn’t on the menu in either the Morgenstern or Lightwood households.”

“Maybe Valentine would have been less of a dick if he ate a good grilled cheese sandwich every now and then.”

“Maybe,” Jace replied looking out the window.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t joke about him.”

“No it’s fine. I was just thinking about something you said earlier.”

“What?”

“I know you said you’d help me get better, but it’s okay if you can’t. I know you said it at the time to make me feel better.”

“I _did_ say it to make you feel better, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it. I really want to help. I’ve already started a game plan. Task one would be for you to try to stop drinking so much.”

“Okay, Clary.”

“Clary may have been inconsiderate about it, but she was right. I want to say it in a way that won’t hurt your feelings, but that night when I had to help you rune yourself sober, I was so worried about you. I texted Maia after I got home, after Jordan grilled me about the broken door, to see if she could remember how many drinks she’d served you. She was still at the Hunter’s Moon, so it must have been before she realized I’d left my laptop there. Anyway, she said you consumed ten whiskey sours and three shots of tequila in two hours. When I asked you, you misremembered the number of whiskey sours and omitted the tequila altogether.”

“Oh yeah, the shots,” said Jace guiltily, looking away.

“I feel like this is all coming out wrong. I’m not coming from a place of judgement here. But will you let me help you?”

“How can you help me not feel the way I feel? That’s the only way to prevent me from drinking.”

“Why don’t I make a proposition? Every time you feel the urge to drink. You come here and read instead, if you want. We can even make mocktails or something. I really like cooking and stuff, and I can’t eat or drink regular stuff anymore, so it can be a symbiotic relationship. I can live vicariously through you. There’s not even any alcohol in the apartment. Jordan is on this straightedge werewolf kick because of Praetor Lupus.”

“Hmm,” said Jace, considering it.

“And don’t worry about the timing—you can come over anytime. To be quite honest, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. Clearly you have no issue getting in, no matter what time it is. You already come over whenever you want anyway.”

“Fine,” said Jace. “I’ll try it for a week.”

“Yes!” said Simon punching his fist in the air. “I’ll call that a mild victory. Well, with that, I’m going to go shower. You didn’t need to, did you? I mean obviously not at the same time as me, but just asking. I know you were out all night. Not that you smell or anything like that. You actually smell nice,” Simon rambled. He had to stop doing this.

“No, I showered before I came over, but thanks I guess? I’ll just read until you come back,” Jace said.

Simon had been moving towards the door, but he stopped in his tracks when Jace said he would read. Was he feeling depressed right now? Was Jace coding for saying he wanted to drink?

“What?” asked Jace. Then, “Oh, I’m reading because I want to find how it was simultaneously the best of times and the worst of times, not because I want to get drunk. I actually feel fine right now, strangely enough. I think that all that crying shed some of the trauma for now.”

 _Plus me holding you until you stopped_ , thought Simon, but he didn’t actually say that. Instead he said, “How will I know the difference between when you want to read for pleasure and when you want to read because you’re sad?”

“Oh, you’ll know.”

***

Simon couldn’t have been gone for any longer than 20 minutes altogether. He was a pretty quick showerer, and he had taken his clothes with him, so that he wouldn’t have to get dressed in his room while Jace was in it. He ran a comb through his hair, using a little bit of product to slick it into place, and styling it when it was wet helped a little too. He told himself he was doing this for himself and not in order to impress Jace. It wasn’t like Jace would give two shits about what he looked like because they were definitely just friends, and Jace didn’t think of him that way, and why was Simon thinking of him this way? _Stop_ , he told himself. _First the blood, and now this? Get a hold of yourself._

Simon looked in the mirror at himself. He smirked, remembering all the folktales of vampires not having a reflection. He was glad _that_ legend wasn’t true at least.

Simon hadn’t quite gotten use to his pale features yet. Everytime he looked in the mirror, he expected to see the old Simon, and not the creature he saw staring back at him now. He hadn’t been the epitome of tanned before, but nowadays, he was noticeably more gaunt and pallid. He just looked lifeless. Dead. And in a sense, he was.

Simon went into the kitchen. Jordan had added some extra blood bags to the main refrigerator as well, so Simon wouldn’t have to go back to his room if he were hungry while he was out there. It wasn’t like he needed his secret fridge anyway, now that Simon knew that both of them were Downworlders. He usually didn’t drink more than one glass in the morning, but he wanted to prepare himself in case Jace decided to hug him again. Jace had claimed that would never happen—at least, that’s what Simon thought Jace was trying to tell him with his mouth full of food. But one could never be too prepared. Simon was almost certain he would never bite Jace again, even if he were insatiably hungry, but he didn’t want to take the chance.

After he emptied his glass, Simon walked back into his room, opening the door, his towel and dirty clothes in his other arm. The desk chair was directly opposite the door, so it was the first thing Simon saw every time he entered him room. But where was Jace?

The chair was empty.

Simon sighed. Had Jace played him? He shouldn’t have left him alone. Jace probably _had_ been reading because he was sad, and now he was probably long gone to a bar somewhere. And he probably wasn’t at the Hunter’s Moon. That would be too predictable at this point.

Simon entered his room. He wasn’t upset with Jace, but more so with himself for letting this happen. Simon turned toward his bed, to go sit his stuff down, when he stopped in his tracks. Jace. Herondale. Was. In. _His_. Bed.

Simon gasped, before covering his mouth and muffling his own surprise. He went from being shocked, to being mortified, to almost laughing. Jace was knocked out, the book discarded on Simon’s night stand, the covers pulled over him, and his leather jacket strewn on the floor. Simon shook his head. How could the Shadowhunter be so careless with his things?

Simon padded over to the bed, using his vampire speed because he was actually more silent the faster he moved. He went over to the jacket at lightning speed, picked it up, and hung it in his own closet in the blink of an eye. Then he was standing over Jace. Simon thought for sure that the Shadowhunter would wake up at the slightest sound of movement, but he didn’t. Jace had gotten home late last night, Simon reasoned with himself. He deserved the sleep.

Simon walked out the bedroom, gently shutting the door behind him. Jace had been so innocent-looking, just lying there. Simon almost felt like he was interrupting something. He smiled to himself.

“So should I just ignore the fact that Jace has been here all morning? You sure get over girlfriends fast.”

“Huh, what?” asked Simon, his head snapping up to see Jordan’s amused expression. Then, “How could you possibly know that he’s here? Were you in my room while I was showering?”

“Disgusting. Of course not,” said Jordan, rolling his eyes and throwing himself down on the couch, in only the kind of way a toxic person could. He took up so much space. “You always rag on me for being a bad protector, but you don’t notice _anything_ , do you? You’re lucky Jace isn’t after you, because if he were, you’d be done for buddy. Or at least after you in the bad sense,” Jordan winked.

“What are you _talking_ about?”

“Well for starters, his ‘aloha morrow’ or whatever-you-called-it rune is on the door. Given the residue, I’d say he drew it about three or four hours ago”

Simon didn’t even bother correcting him. Seriously, had any of these people read _Harry Potter_? “I don’t see a rune.”

“It was on the other side, idiot,” said Jordan. “I saw it when I came in from my jog.”  
  
“Then, I went into the kitchen. I don’t cook. You don’t even eat, and yet the pan is sitting greasy on the stove. How’s his cooking? Didn’t pin him as the domestic type.”

“Jace didn’t cook. I did. I cooked for him.”

“Now _that_ makes more sense. You on the other hand are definitely the domestic type.”

“I don’t know what you’re getting at, but whatever you think isn’t remotely true,” said Simon. “We’re just friends. Jace came here to borrow a book, and then I made him breakfast because I’m not a terrible person. but he was out late last night, so now he’s taking a nap.”

“Drinking again? The bastard. He promised Alec he would stop. He’s probably too ashamed to show his face at the Institute.”

“Can you quit it with the name calling?” asked Simon. Simon sat in the arm chair and leaned back his head against the cushion. He could use a siesta himself. Jace had woken him up earlier than Simon’s usual time. “And keep your voice down, so he can actually get some rest, will you?”

“Whatever.”

Suddenly an idea hit Simon like a ton of bricks. “Do you actually want to help me help him stop drinking?”

“I told you, Daylighter. You’re my territory, not the Shadowhunters, however ridiculously attractive the one currently in your bed might be.”

“What if I told you there was a way to vicariously help me through helping Jace?”

Jordan sighed and rolled his eyes. But he still looked at Simon expectantly, willing to hear the rest of the idea.

“You two obviously have a lot of pent up aggression towards one another,” said Simon. “Jace hasn’t been training in a while, and he’s a little off his game. You should train with him. You sparred with me before, so I know you’re up for it. You’re right. He’s probably not going to want to be around the Institute for a while, so training there is out.”  
  
“Is Alec _that_ mad at him?”  
  
“Um yeah,” Simon replied. “You know how he gets sometimes.” It wasn’t Simon’s business to tell Jordan that Jace and Clary had broken up. That was the real reason Jace wasn’t going to want to spend time at the Institute.  

“But how is this helping you again?”

“Oh right,” said Simon. He had forgotten to explain that part. “I know you’re always busy with Praetor Lupus stuff, even more so since you’ve been trying to research my mark. If you train with Jace, he can be a better protector to me when you can’t be here. Plus, I bet you want a reason to punch him in the face sometimes. Here’s your chance.”

Jordan was silent for a while. It was evident that he was thinking about it. Finally he said, “Fine, I’m in. It’s a good idea actually.”

“It is?” asked Simon, sounding a little less sure than he should have.

“When you and Maia were talking, Jace told me what went down with the demon and the salt. I have my people on the research, but until then, we need you extra protected.”

“What does that entail?”

“24 hour surveillance.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“We were going to get some more wolves to help me, but they did agree that you’ll be better protected if someone who knows you well has your back. The person being a shadowhunter could be useful if your mark is demonic in origin. But I agree--Herondale has been off his game so, I’m going to need to make sure he’s up to snuff. We start when he wakes up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry, updates will be slower but I won't abandon you--I promise!


	7. the owl in its nest

After their discussion, Simon returned to his bedroom. Jordan’s toxic energy tended to roll off of him in waves, so it was difficult to be in the same room as him for too long. Simon wondered if Jordan were even aware of how uncomfortable he could make people feel. It was hard to think that a short while ago, Simon had found himself attracted to the werewolf, even if only momentarily. Simon could be meek and shy, so being around someone who exuded so much energy could be draining, even if they shared certain common interests, like Jordan and himself did.

But Jace was different.

Simon certainly had more in common with Jordan, but his personality meshed more with Jace’s. Although Jace had a certain energy about himself as well; it was more like a calming, roaring, angelic fire and less like being in a burning building with random furniture exploding, which was what being with Jordan felt like. Jace tended to process all of his motions internally before speaking, whereas Jordan just kind of let them go. So, Simon found himself making an excuse to leave Jordan in the living room and go back to his own.

Simon hoped that Jace would be awake when he got to the room, but his hopes weren’t answered. When Simon entered, Jace was still sound asleep. In fact, he didn’t seem to have even turned over or changed his sleeping position at all from when Simon saw him last. Jace still lay on his side, his body turned towards the side of the bed closest to the window and to the nightstand where _A Tale of Two Cities_ lay and where his jacket had been strewn on the floor before Simon collected it and hung it in his closet. Although Jace was using the pillow as well, he used his own shoulder as a pillow too, a third of his arm dangling off the bed.

From what Simon could see of Jace’s face--the bottom half of it was concealed under the covers--it seemed peaceful, so Simon hoped he was getting the rest he deserved. Still, Simon had a sudden urge to wake him. He typically felt a similar urge around sleeping pets, babies, and apparently now Jace. An urge that however cute they were while sleeping, it still meant he wasn’t allowed to hang out with them while they snoozed. He never acted on his urge to wake people and animals up from their naps, but the desire was still there, all the same.

Simon had been deathly bored since he had been put on house confinement a few weeks ago. It wasn’t that he was only allowed to be in his apartment, but having to have an escort to go everywhere made going places difficult. With Jordan hardly around, it wasn’t like he could just ask Jace to go with him to Central Park or to the ice cream parlor whenever he pleased. Alec and Jordan would probably disapprove of frivolous time out like that anyway. Jace seemed to attract demonic energy wherever he went. It had been different at the party at the Hunter’s Moon, when literally everyone in attendance could defend him from harm, but going random places alone wasn’t wise.

It sucked to have Jace over but to not be able to actually spend time with him. It was just like being alone. Simon wondered if Jace’s dreams were as calm as they appeared or if he were struggling internally without showing it on the outside. Simon also wondered if there were a way for him to watch Jace sleep without feeling creepy. He tried not to, but the Shadowhunter was lying there in plain sight, and Simon couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. Simon tried to justify it to himself as worry, but that was only a thinly-veiled excuse for how he really felt.

Simon wondered what he should do to pass the time while Jace slept in his bed. He couldn’t nap himself now, unless he wanted to share the bed with Jace, go and sleep on the couch where Jordan was still in the living room, or even worse, go and sleep in Jordan’s bed. None of these options sounded appealing in the slightest. Well, getting in the bed with Jace did, but he also wanted to live to see another day. Jace could be startled by an intruder in his space and try to attack Simon and then he could be hurt or turned into salt. Yeah, Simon still didn’t quite know how that worked yet. Did he get any say in who got a broken spinal column and who got turned into table seasoning, or no?

Simon thought about grabbing _A Tale of Two Cities_ off the nightstand. He could probably do it at lightning speed and not disturb Jace, similarly to how he hung up the leather jacket earlier, but Simon wasn’t really in the reading mood. So, he flipped his computer open and began surfing the internet. Since becoming a vampire, he hadn’t had the most active Facebook life, but he enjoyed signing in every once in a while and seeing what folks were up to. He was always careful not to press the ‘like’ button, lest his old friends start asking questions about where he was. One of his friends had just gotten engaged, and there were a lot of cute pictures to scroll through. They had been the year ahead of him, but it still felt weird when friends his age got married. Simon hated to feel like he was growing up, and being a vampire, he really _didn’t_ any more. Every time another friend of his reached a milestone, be it a birthday or even getting a new job, Simon felt it as the person growing one more moment older than him. Soon, everyone would leave him behind, or he would leave them behind depending on how you thought about it. It was upsetting no matter how he justified it in his mind.

After about an hour of scrolling, Jace’s rhythmic breathing and heartbeat became too distracting for Simon to stand any longer. It could be calming in a sense, but it also made Simon worry too much. So Simon put on his headphones, his really nice noise-cancelling ones, and tried to stop being distracted by the blond that was currently in his bed. After Simon had first turned, he had splurged on the high-end headphones with some leftover money from a gig. They had helped to dull his heightened auditory and sensory processing issues that had come up with his transformation. Now he was more used to his new abilities, but wearing them still brought a sense of comfort. It made him feel more human.

Simon decided to catch up on some TV, but there wasn’t much to catch up on. When he had been in school, he was used to having homework or a gig whenever his favorite television series aired, so he would always have to find time to catch up on them later. Now, he was rarely busy when shows aired live on TV, so he could just watch them in real time. He put on an episode of _Brooklyn 99_ that he’d missed, and then he finished that so he put on _Dark Matter_ . He didn’t watch it while it was on TV, but rather it had been a recommendation from Magnus, weirdly enough, who seemed to be fond of some more international shows, even though it also aired on an American network too. Simon was currently watching one episode of _Dark Matter_ per day. There were way fewer episodes of that than some of his other favorite shows, so Simon liked to savor it.

After that was over, he decided he would be up for something longer. He wanted to look for something he could show Jace later. Simon wasn’t the type of person that minded watching movies over and over again. He sometimes enjoyed it actually so that he could pick up on all the nuances and intricacies he’d missed the first time around. Simon looked up the _A Tale of Two Cities_ movie online. He remembered watching it in English class in high school. There were a few adaptations, but the one they had watched had been the straight-to-television 1980 version with Chris Sarandon (aka Prince Humperdinck from _A Princess Bride)_ playing both Charles Darnay and Sydney Carton.

Towards the end of the movie, Simon decided that Jace would probably like it; the acting was good, and it was pretty faithful to the original story, from what he could remember of the novel. Plus, they wouldn’t have to watch it immediately since Jace was still at the beginning of the story. Okay, the acting was really, _really_ good. Simon wondered if Prince Humperdinck won an Emmy for this because damn. Simon remembered that the first time he’d seen this movie, he hadn’t quite realized the person playing Darnay and Carton had been the same--his acting of the two characters had been so different for each of them. The final few scenes were an emotional roller coaster.

Simon didn’t realize he was crying until he felt a hand on his shoulder, gentle and steady. But it still scared the living daylights out of him. He jumped out of his chair, removing his headphones as he did so.

“Holy moly!” he exclaimed, clutching his chest and standing up to face Jace who dropped his hand immediately.

“I would pretend you didn’t just say that, but I don’t think I can unhear it,” Jace replied, but there was a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Sorry. My ‘freaking out’ vocabulary is limited with the whole I-can’t-take-the-big-guy’s-name-in-vain thing.”

“It’s called: ‘By the angel,’ Simon. You’ve said it once before and please for both of our sakes, say it again. Live it. Dream it. Become it. Please, if not that, then anything but ‘holy moly’ will suffice or I think I might actually die.“

“Sorry,” Simon said again. Quickly wiping at the tears that were still in the corner of his eyes. “Don’t come at me like that or next time you might actually die,” said Simon, gesturing to his forehead.

Jace scoffed. “Okay, if gently resting my hand on your shoulder counts as ‘coming at you’ then sure, I’ll try not to do that,” Jace said. Then, “I thought you were supposed to have heightened vampire abilities and sense me coming from a mile away or something like that.”

“It’s my headphones. They’re super noise-cancelling.”

“As in, mundanes can wear them on airplanes and not be annoyed by the roar of the jet engine noise-cancelling, or a vampire can put them on and still not be able to hear a person get out of a squeaky, old bed that feels like you bought it off Craigslist and walk across your rickety floor boards and sneak up on you noise-cancelling?”

“Just come for my whole life, why don’t you?” said Simon. “The headphones aren’t marketed to Downworlders, per se. There’s no Vampire Amazon Prime, so I can’t exactly read reviews that pertain to those types of things, but yes, they actually really dull my senses, which is good because your heavy breathing and incessant heart beat were droning in my ears before I put them on.”

“I am _not_ a heavy breather.”

“Sure you’re not,” said Simon laughing. “How is it that you and Jordan don’t watch _Harry Potter_ or _Star Wars_ , but you know exactly what Craigslist is?”

“It’s the 21st Century, Simon. The Institute has a whole unit devoted to tracking the trading of dark artifacts on the internet. You wouldn’t believe what people get up to. Well-meaning mundanes too who end up with magical family heirlooms and antiques.”

“I’d hate to be the Shadowhunter who trains my whole life only to spend my days tracking people selling demon-summoning objects on Ebay.”

“That would probably be the only thing they’d let me do if I were actually at the Op Center instead of sleeping in your bed. Anyway, I know a guy, Underhill, who happens to be an amazing fighter, but also an amazing online tracker. One of Alec’s friends. Transferred from the Los Angeles Institute and did a lot of missions in Silicon Valley--it’s apparently a hot spot for new age demonic activity. He could probably show you where on the internet to trade things with other downworlders if you’d like.”

“Great, and while I’m at it, I’ll start a vlog and review Amazon products for the Downworld,” said Simon, deadpan.

“I’m just trying to help,” said Jace rolling his eyes. “Anyway, this certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to wake up to. No, ‘Good morning, Jace? How did you sleep?’”

Jace was grinning sardonically at him, but at the same time he grabbed a Kleenex out of the box and handed it to Simon so the latter could finish wiping his stray tears.

“No. I am not saying ‘good morning’ because it is 4 P.M. And I’m not going to ask how you slept because you’re being mean to me,”said Simon, sitting back down in the chair with a, “Hmmphf.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Jace, his tone changing as he gestured to Simon’s tear-stained face.

“No, actually, unless you want spoilers for your book,” said Simon. Jace only looked up at him in confusion. Simon decided that honestly would do him good. “I was looking up movies to show you, and I remembered there’s a pretty good version of _A Tale of Two Cities_ from the 80s. And this happened,” said Simon, gesturing to his face.

“You were crying at a film?” asked Jace, quietly.

“I’m sentimental, I guess,” Simon replied.

Jace grinned, but it was genuine. Simon smiled back, but then Jace’s smile turned into a smirk. “What makes you think I’ll want to watch movies with you, Lewis? That implies me spending a lot of time with you.”

The grin slid off Simon’s face. “So about that, actually,” said Simon.

“Oh no,” said Jace. “I know that face. What did you do this time?”

“You’re going to hate me for this.”

“That’s a given. What is it?”

“So as part of your healing process, I suggested you spar with Jordan so you can get back in shape for when you’re a full-time Shadowhunter again.”

If Jace noticed the language Simon was using to imply that he would _for sure_ heal, he didn’t show it. “Well, that’s not a _horrible_ idea. We already hate each other, so that’s fodder for a good fight. I can’t fight you, obviously, and it will be good to train with a Downworlder. I’ve been training with Shadowhunters my whole life, so it will give me an edge in combat if I can develop a new fighting style. Is that all?”

Simon was momentarily distracted by Jace’s response. It was funny that Jace still hated Jordan. It was hard for Simon not to remember how protective Jace had been of him when he had stopped by the apartment for the first time. Now there were other reasons to hate the guy, like for what he had done to Maia, but Simon couldn’t help but suspect that a large part of Jace’s hate was still due to how Jordan had fooled Simon. Simon didn’t know how to feel about it, but it made him a little jittery inside. Sometimes, he could tell how Jace felt about him through how he behaved towards other people, but they were theoretically friends now. Nothing more. It made sense that Jace wanted to protect him, even if it were in a platonic way. Simon remembered that he had to respond to Jace.

“No, that’s not all,” Simon said.

Jace sighed, sitting on the end of the bed, opposite Simon’s desk chair. “What _else_ did you do? You didn’t invite him to our mocktail party, did you? Because no one is invited to that besides the two of us.”

Simon’s stomach did a flip flop. _Platonic, platonic, platonic. It’s all platonic_ , Simon chanted to himself. Plus, Jace probably wanted to keep his alcohol recovery private, which is why he would be mad if Simon had told Jordan about it, right? _Right?_ Simon pulled himself together so that he could answer with a straight face.

“In order to train with you, Jordan’s stipulation was that it somehow had to benefit me since I’m his assignment. It makes sense. He can’t just spend hours of the day with you if it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet?” asked Jace sarcastically.

Was Jace flirting with him? _No_ , Simon chanted to himself. _He’s just being his usual, joking self._

“Anyway,” said Simon. “I said that you training with him can be so that you’re a better protector to me when Jordan’s not around.” Simon balked when he realized how poorly he’d phrased that. “Not that you’re a bad protector now, or anything,” Simon added quickly. “The sparring is really so you can heal, but I just had to quickly make up a reason to convince Jordan to do it, so I just made that up on the spot!”

“You’re still not telling me the bad part about this,” said Jace.

Simon almost let out a sigh of relief. So Jace wasn’t mad about those things, at least. “Well, after I said this,” Simon explained. “Jordan said it was a good idea because apparently the Praetor wants me monitored 24/7 now that I turned that demon into salt. Injuring people was one thing, but disintegrating them is another, I guess. They’re willing to send someone over to help, but Jordan suggested that it would be better if it were someone I know.”

Jace rolled his eyes, but when he spoke, Simon realized it wasn’t himself he was irritated at. “They’re just too scared to come and help now that they know there’s death on the line,”said Jace. Simon hadn’t even thought about that. “But I’m not afraid. Though I guess that means I’m your new roommate? 24/7 surveillance sounds a lot like we both have to live here so that you’re still covered when he’s gone. Am I understanding correctly?”

“Yeah, you are,” said Simon, ready for Jace’s inevitable anger. “You don’t have to do it,” he added. “Only if you want.”

“I want to,” said Jace, his differently-colored eyes boring into Simon’s. “I want to train. I want to get better. And I want to be there for you like you’ve been here for me.”

Simon wanted to hug him despite Jace’s earlier explicit insistence that he not do so, but just as he stood to go to him, the doorbell rang.

“Are you expecting any company?” asked Jace suddenly, as if snapping out of daze. He stood as well.

“N-no,” said Simon. “I’m not.”

“Well Jordan or I should answer, in case it’s a demon,” said Jace, walking past him to open Simon’s bedroom door.

“Why does everyone think demons regularly pay me house calls?” asked Simon, following Jace out the room.

When they reached the living room, Jordan had already answered the door and was currently inviting Alec Lightwood, of all people, into their apartment. Simon’s mind raced to the lie he’d told Jordan about why Jace was there. He’d said that Alec and Jace had been fighting over Jace’s drinking, when in actuality, Jace was here because he was avoiding Clary. Simon smiled mekely at Alec, ready for the lie to blow up in his face.

“Hey, Alec,” Simon tried. Alec just glared at him in response, walked past them, and offered himself a place on their couch. Simon was almost glad when Alec also glared equally hard at Jace. Perhaps that meant he wouldn’t say anything about the breakup and Simon’s cover wouldn’t be blown. The fact that Alec seemed upset with Jace solidified the lie he’d told to Jordan.

Alec looked a little out of place as he sat on the lived-in piece of furniture. Alec always came off has prim and polished, his hair always perfectly styled into place and his clothing was carefully chosen enough to look careless, practical. If Jordan were a dog, Alec was a cat. The way he perched on the edge of the couch, posture perfectly straight, said as much, and for once, Simon could finally see the similarity between Alec and Magnus’ demeanors because yes, they were a good couple, but before now, the two had seemed so different from one another to Simon.

“Does no one around here answer their phone?” asked Alec, crossing his arms, and wow, he and Magnus were really similar when they were annoyed. The only difference was that if he were Magnus, he would have snapped his fingers and a latte or a cup of tea would have appeared out of nowhere and he would drink it while sipping it and staring at them over the cup evilly. Simon was glad it was Alec who’d paid them a visit instead.

At the same time the three of them answered:

“I was sleeping.”

“I was watching a movie.”

“I was watching basketball.”

Alec, Jace, and Simon all glanced towards the TV in the living room, and sure enough, basketball was on. Simon hadn’t pinned Jordan as a sports guy, but the more you know, right? Then Jace, Simon, and Jordan all glanced at their phones to read their missed texts from Alec. Simon could only read the messages on his own phone, but he imagined that both Jace and Jordan had similar walls of text messages from the brooding Shadowhunter:

**Alec  
** _Simon, is Jace there? He’s missing again._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _Simon, answer please._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _Just letting you know that since I’m already worried about him, I don’t have time to worry about you too._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _I’m worried about the two of you. Please answer your phone soon._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _I think Clary broke up with him or he broke up with her. She’s not talking to anyone except for Izzy, and Izzy won’t tell me anything. You don’t know anything about it, do you?_  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _I don’t want him out there coping alone, and you two weirdly seems to be friends now, I guess. So I’m hoping he came to your place and not to a bar again._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _There aren’t even any bars open right now besides the Hunter’s Moon. Maia’s still on leave, but I told Bat that if he even thought about serving Jace alcohol I’d shoot him down with a silver bullet._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _In hindsight, it may have been a little drastic of me to say that to him. But Bat promised me that Jace hadn’t been there. If he’s at your apartment, just let me know. Even the thumbs up emochee (is that what you call them? Magnus is trying to educate me) will suffice._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

**Alec  
** _Okay. I’m giving it one more hour, and if you don’t answer, I’m coming over. You all would really do well to answer your phones more often. I just got mine a few months ago when I started seeing Magnus and even I know how to answer mine in a timely fashion. I’m concerned. Please write back soon._  
_Thanks,  
Alec_

“Dude, change your signature, seriously,” Jordan said, the first to finish reading all of the texts.

“To answer your question,” said Simon. “Yes, he’s here.”

The way Alec glared up at him in response made Simon feels like he has 9 missed calls from his mom, and not from Jace’s adoptive brother.

“I’m surprised you came alone with how worried you are,” said Jordan joining Alec on the couch. “Can we get you anything. Water? Tea? Juice? O-Positive?”

“Water is fine,” said Alec, and Jordan craned his head towards Simon, indicating that Simon should be the one to pour the glass despite the fact that Jordan had been the one to offer. Simon rolled his eyes and went over to the fridge and got the Brita pitcher out. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d poured a glass of water. “Luke is on patrol, Maia is MIA, and Izzy and Clary have been locked up in Clary’s room all day,” Alec was saying. “So it wasn’t like I had an option but to come alone. And I reiterate that I wouldn’t have had to come at all if even one of you knew how to pick up your phone and text back.” At that point, Simon came back with the water and handed it to Alec. “Thanks,” Alec said, and Simon sat in the armchair. Simon gestured for Jace to sit in this space he’d left for him on the couch next to Alec, but Jace ignored him and instead walked over to sit on the arm of Simon’s armchair. Alec looked hurt, as if his pet had chosen to go to someone else other than himself, and Simon wanted to evaporate.

“You should have known I was fine,” said Jace. He grabbed his side, indicating the rune that binded his and Alec’s souls together.

At that moment, Alec was so angry, he almost choked on his water. “ _Excuse_ me?” he said, raising his voice. “Okay, fine, let me just never worry about you again, then. Oh, my parabatai rune is still intact? Guess he’s still kicking! Oh? It’s faded now. Guess he’s dead! Is that seriously how you want me to live my life, Jace?”

Okay, Simon took it back. He would definitely rather Magnus be here instead.

“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it,” said Jace.

Alec sighed, and he seems to have calmed down at last a little bit. “I know,” he breathed. “I just worry. And you were missing again. Leave a note next time, will you? Especially if you’re just coming here. It’s fine when you’re here. Actually more than fine. It’s good. You’re safe with these two.”

Okay, Simon was seriously feeling mixed emotions towards Alec. On one hand he was scary. On the other hand, he had just implied that Simon was good at protecting Jace. It was good to be recognized for that instead of the other way around. It was a reciprocal relationship. Jace had his back, but Simon had Jace’s as well.

“If this family feud is over, can I ask if there are any updates on the owl demon?” asked Jordan who seemed to be less than thrilled that he was the only one sitting next to Alec.

“Owl demon?” asked Simon.

“Ah yes. A newer development since they last called you in,” Jordan explained. “We thought it might be a rogue vampire causing the murders at first, but since there were no bodies, we realized it might be more demonic in origin. Underhill started checking surveillance videos, and they recently noticed a demon with an owl-like face in a lot of the footage from six weeks ago when the murders started.”

“But the demon has been missing for the past three weeks,” said Alec. “Even though the murders have continued, they have dwindled down recently. We think the demon is being more careful about the moves it makes.”

“And Jordan knows all this because?” asked Simon.

“He and Luke have been helping us patrol Manhattan. Luke’s partner on the police force was one of the murder victims, so he’s not exactly welcome at his day job anymore. The mundanes think he might have killed her, so we’ve been trying to expedite this mission, but to no avail. We’ve been locking down the perimeter and also staking out a bit. Magnus has a property in Times Square that we’ve been using. He says he purchased it 100 years ago, but now he runs it as an Air Bumblebee.”

“Air B&B,” said Jordan, Jace, and Simon at the same time. Simon was momentarily surprised that Jace knew what that was before Alec responded, interrupting his train of thought.

“Whatever,” said Alec. “Doesn’t matter. I just know he’s angry with me because I promised him we wouldn’t have to use it that long, but now we’ve been there for weeks with no sign of a breakthrough. He’s missed out on a lot of money. Something about it being rent controlled since the 1920s or something like that. He says if we don’t solve this soon, he’s going to start charging us rent.”

“Just bill it to the Institute’s financial account,” Jace replied.

“Great advice,” said Alec glaring at Jace. Then, “Ugh, this case is such a disaster, and it’s all my fault.” Alec leaned back against the couch and shut his eyes. “But to answer your question, Jordan, no. There’s no update on the whereabouts of the owl demon. The only noteworthy information is that the latest murder victim is apparently the CEO of Coca-Cola’s son. The company is based in Atlanta, and I had no clue about this until recently, but guess what else is?” asked Alec.

“Oh no,” said Simon. “CNN.”

Alec looked surprised that Simon knew that for a second. “Well, Simon. Maybe this news will mean more to you than it did to me. Guess who Magnus bought the property from all those years ago?”

“Who?” asked Simon glad to be included. He’d never felt so useful before, and to think, it only took knowing basic mundae cultural facts.

“Somebody named Reginald Vanderbilt, which is apparently very good for us in this situation and is connected to the CNN news station thing, although I can’t remember how at the moment.”

“Woah, woah, woah, wait a second,” said Simon. “I totally know how its connected.”

“What is it Simon?” asked Jace, turning to Simon with interest in his differently-colored eyes.

Simon had somehow forgotten Jace was sitting that close, and he almost was too embarrassed to speak. “Okay, so the Vanderbilts are like a _super rich_ mundane family. Like filthy rich. Household name rich. Prestigious mundane University named after them rich. Like think Ivy League but in the south. It’s in Nashville, but I think most of them were always based up here, in New York.”

“That’s what Magnus was saying,” Alec confirmed. “Apparently they’re all genetically Sighted too. Meaning they can see and interact with the Shadow World, although they’re still technically mundanes,” Alec explained for Simon’s benefit.

“ _Woah_ ,” said Simon. “I bet that’s partly how they built their fortune. Trading in dark objects both of the mundane kind and off the more magical kind.”

“Makes sense,” Alec said. “And remind me how this connects to the news station? I don’t have a memory for these types of things.”

Simon just laughs. “This is actually wild. So there’s this guy, Anderson Cooper, who’s one of the main news anchors from CNN. His mom was a Vanderbilt, and holy shit. Is Magnus paying off Anderson Cooper to make the network keep quiet about the Coke CEO’s son?”

“Ah, yes. That sounds familiar,” said Alec finishing his water.

“Does that mean Anderson Cooper knows about the Shadow World?”

“That seems to be the case,” said Alec.

Simon almost fell over. “I didn’t know I could like him any more than I already did.”

“Why would this development make you like him more?” asked Jordan.

“Oh you guys,” said Simon. “Sometimes I wish you knew more about mundane culture. Jordan, you have an excuse. You’re not from this country, but the rest of you, for shame. This guy is just amazing. He’s won awards for his selfless journalism. Imagine being a rich mundane with the world and all the money you want at your fingertips, and instead he just goes on the liberal media and exposes rich scumbags and covers crises and stuff all day. All while being a gay icon. And you should be thankful for him. If he really has the Sight, he has an international audience and yet he keeps all of our secrets perfectly safe from the rest of the world day after day and night after night. Magnus may not even be paying him. It just sounds more likely that he called in a favor.”

“You may be a nerd, but sometimes you know useful things,” said Jace.

“Well that might be the closest thing to a compliment you’ve ever paid me, so I’ll take it,” said Simon.

Alec stood and walked his glass over to the kitchen, sitting his glass in the sink.

“Well, I’ve already wasted over half of my day, so I really have to get back to the Institute and put in some hours on this case,” he said. He nodded in Jace’s direction. “Jace, are you coming?” he asked as if Jace were misbehaving child that had snuck off to the neighbors’ house and it was time to come home now.

“Oh um yeah, sure,” said Jace, standing. “Did you put my jacket somewhere, Si?”

Simon immediately noticed Alec’s reaction to Jace calling him by a nickname. It was almost imperceptible--Alec was good at controlling his emotions--but Simon noticed the way Alec’s heartbeat had accelerated as he internally freaked out for 0.5 seconds before it returned to normal.

“Yeah, you left it on my floor, so I hung it in my closet,” said Simon.

“I’ll go and get it,” said Jace, leaving and going to Simon’s room.

“He doesn’t let anyone touch that jacket, you know,” said Alec. “One time I accidentally confused his for mine in the dark at a party, and I didn’t hear the end of it for weeks.”

“Oh,” said Simon. “Well to be fair, I didn’t ask him if I could move it.”

“But he’s not even mad about it,” said Alec in confusion more to himself before Jace returned to the room, now wearing his jacket and his boots. “See you,” said Alec opening the front door and leaving.

After he had gone, Jace said “I’ll be back later. I just need to grab my things,” before he was out the door too.

Simon was glad he didn’t have to witness Jace tell Alec that he was moving out of the Institute and into his and Jordan’s apartment. But if today had been any indication, Alec probably wouldn’t be upset about it.

Jordan smirked at him as he went to turn the new deadbolt on the door.

“What is it?” asked Simon.

“Oh nothing,” said Jordan with a smile in voice. “Nothing at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading and commenting! I'm sorry this chapter is so long (compared to the others), but I hope you liked Alec's appearance. I'm also sorry for the random CNN plot point. I have no idea where that came from. As you can see, the beginnings of the plot of this story are forming and will start coming to fruition in the next few chapters. What do you think will happen?


	8. genesis

Simon stared at the two bullet points with disdain. How was it that he’d been working on a list of movies to watch with Jace for over an hour, but had only come up with _A Tale of Two Cities_ and _Captain America_? Two items hardly constituted a full list, but Simon kept getting distracted by what Alec had said earlier about that dumb leather jacket.

Shadowhunters had fairly decent hearing even when not elevated with a rune, right? Jace hadn’t indicated that he had overheard any part of their conversation when he went to look for the jacket, but that didn’t mean he _hadn’t_ heard. Simon sighed. There was no use thinking too hard about it, but he simply couldn’t help himself.

At first, he thought that Alec had his internal freak out about the nickname—Si—but he now realized that Alec had been so shocked because Jace hadn’t been angry with Simon for moving his beloved property. Was it really all that serious? Alec apparently thought so if the story about the party was any indication. Simon wondered if they were talking about a party that had occurred recently or about one that had happened several years ago. Simon could imagine Jace getting riled up about the jacket as a teenager, but him doing so now just seemed silly. What did it mean that he’d given Alec, his parabatai, best friend, and essentially brother, such a hard time when he confused the two articles of clothing but had barely batted an eyelash when Simon moved it and put it somewhere where Jace couldn’t immediately find it?

Confusing jackets was an easy enough mistake to make. Shadowhunters wore black all the time, even when wearing leisure attire. There was sometimes a smattering of gray here and there, but those moments were few and far between. Simon himself would find himself wearing darker clothing whenever he was with them so he wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb. He hypothesized that they must all do their laundry in separate loads. Or else, it would be too easy to constantly confuse their clothes.

Of course, when Simon had moved the jacket, it had been lying in the middle of his floor. It was only natural that someone pick it up, but Jace wasn’t always capable of rational, normal human thought. In his defense, when unintentionally trading jackets with Alec, there was a guarantee that he could get it back, but when misplacing it at Simon’s it could have easily been damaged or trampled on.

Simon tried to make his thoughts stop going down the rabbit hole in order to justify Jace’s non-reaction to Simon moving it. There must be a logical reason why he hadn’t cared, Simon thought. Because if not, it was dangerously close to implying that Jace was starting to trust Simon more than his own brother, and Simon was afraid of that. He told himself he wanted Jace’s friendship, but friendship was difficult when one party was starting to have feelings for the other and was reading every possible nuance into an ordinary situation.

Simon tried to take his mind off the jacket and refocus it on the list, but as soon as he stopped thinking about the jacket, he started thinking about the nickname again. He hadn’t thought twice when Jace said it, but now that he reconsidered it with a clearer mind, only Clary, his sister Rebecca, his mother, and occasionally his bandmates ever called him that. No one from the Shadoworld ever called him Si, not even Maia, and Jace had said it as if he always called him that. Simon recalled that day the two of them had been walking to his apartment from the Institute, when Jace had first said ‘Si’ aloud. Comparing the two instances, then and now, it was as if it had slipped out both times, but in a comfortable way. Was there a nickname he could call Jace?

Simon shut his laptop in frustration. ‘Stop,’ he told himself. He was clearly not in the right mindset to write this list. Truth be told, he was feeling a little nervous about Jace moving in anyway. Where would the Shadowhunter even sleep? Maybe they could call Magnus and he could magically make the apartment transform itself into having another room. Or the three of them could rotate sleeping on the couch. Simon wondered if Jordan had a plan for this.

Simon stood. That’s what he would do. Talk to Jordan. He still hated him for what he’d done to Maia, but Simon was running out of options. Clearly he couldn’t handle sitting with his own thoughts for too long.

Basketball was still on the TV when Simon entered the living room, but Jordan was nowhere to be seen. Simon saw the remote on the coffee table and clicked the TV off. There was no use in running up the electricity bill if no one was watching it.

“Hey, I was watching that!” called Jordan from his own bedroom after a moment.

“How are you watching TV from another room?” asked Simon as he clicked it back on again with an annoyed expression on his face, which he did mostly for himself since Jordan couldn’t see him. When the picture clicked back on the TV, the crowd was going crazy and chanting so loud that Simon turned the volume down a little lest it drive his heightened vampire hearing crazy.

“Thank you, _Si_ ,” said Jordan sarcastically. Great, so he had noticed the nickname too. Amazing.

“Don’t call me that,” said Simon as a knee-jerk response before he could stop himself. Fantastic. Now Jordan would know just how much Simon loved and trusted Jace if he was allowed to call him that nickname and Jordan wasn’t. Wait? Loved?

“Werewolf super hearing, remember?” responded Jordan, ignoring Simon’s previous reply. Simon could still hear the smirk in his tone though. “That, having the TV turned up loud, and great sports announcers that provide full coverage without me actually having to watch. I could watch it from the next unit over and still catch the general drift. Anyway, what’s the score?”

“Lakers 93, Pistons 90,” said Simon, setting the remote back on the coffee table and walking over to the kitchen area.

“Shit! The Pistons must have scored a three-pointer right when you turned it off. Looks like they might make a come back after all.”

The kitchen table was filled with scattered papers and tattered old books, some with titles Simon recognized and others that were in unfamiliar, foreign languages.

From Simon’s memory, none of these items had been laid out before Jace and Alec had left, so Jordan must have done it in between then and now. Simon drew closer, picking up one of the yellowing papers which had old, twisting type on it written in Hebrew. Certain parts appeared to have been highlighted in yellow, but it was hard to see against the already off-color paper. Suddenly Simon was thankful for all those years of Hebrew school his mom had forced him through when he was younger. He had also brushed up on it when he had first started college in case he wanted to take a birthright trip to Israel someday. Simon found himself able to read the document, and he wondered if Jace would be impressed at his ability to read Hebrew before berating himself for allow his thoughts to drift off in that direction again.

“Bareishit,” he muttered to himself.

“Bear shit, what?” called Jordan from the other room, peeking his head into the doorway.

“Bareishit,” said Simon. “Or you might know it as Genesis, the first book of the Old Testament. ‘And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment is greater than I can bear,’” Simon began reading from the Hebrew. “‘Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me. And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.”

Simon paused, looking up. Jordan’s eyebrows were raised, and he looked like a cross between amused, impressed, and a little intimidated.

“Jordan, when were you going to tell me that the Praetor thinks I have the _Mark of Cain_ on my forehead?”

Simon set the paper back on the table as soon as Jordan stepped into the room. Jordan was carrying even more papers that he placed onto the table.

“I was clearly getting ready to tell you,” he said gesturing to all the papers strewn everywhere. “I was laying this all out for when Jace returned. Figured I’d let you know together. Kill two birds with one mark, so to speak. Would have loved to tell you the other day, but then—“

“Maia,” Simon finished as he sat down at the table, moving a copy of the King James edition of the Christian Bible so he could grab the papers that Jordan had just sat down.

These papers were different. They had runes, but they were Shadowhunter ones, not biblical. Simon recognized a few such as _angelic power_ —the one Clary couldn’t stop drawing when she first started gaining her Shadowhunter memory back, _clairvoyance_ , which was literally an eye so therefore quite hard to forget, and the _iratze_ which might have been the one he saw the most often since those idiots were always getting hurt. Then there were the ones Simon had helped Jace with when he was using his Shadowhunter abilities to sober up at the surprise party. The rest might as well be a foreign language—just twisted black lines. They were all labeled, but Simon wouldn’t recognize them otherwise.

“Those papers I just sat down contain all the known Shadowhunter runes,” Jordan explained. “As you can see, your mark is nowhere to be found among them. The Praetor wishes that it were because the fae somehow figuring out a way to defy the angel and put Shadowhunter runes on you is much better than having something of biblical proportions on your forehead. I’m surprised you even survived the branding. No offense, mate.”

“Yeah, well you try living with it,” said Simon scoffing and gesturing wildly at his forehead.

Jordan held up his hands in defense and after Simon appeared to calm down, he joined him at the table. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“You’re just being so nice because you don’t want to be turned into a pillar of salt.”

Jordan cringed. “Yeah about that,” he replied. “So our researchers have a theory going,” said Jordan. Simon raised his eyebrows. “Oh, it’s good news,” Jordan continued in a rush before Simon could reply. “Trust me. But we’ll wait until Jace gets here so we have at least _something_ to tell him about.

***

The subway flashed full of light as they zoomed past a busy platform. They were on the express train, so they weren’t making all the usual stops. It was quite busy, but Alec hadn’t said a word the entire time since they got on two stops ago.

“Look, I’m sorry about being MIA, alright. I just wasn’t thinking.”

Alec balled up his hands in a fist as if he were squeezing an imaginary stress ball. Then he released it. This seemed to have worked as his next response was much more polite than Jace anticipated or deserved.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Alec said. “Your friendship with Simon is good for you. You’re happy when you're with him—at least happier than usual. I can tell. Just...” Alec sighed as if weighing his words carefully. “Just for the love of the angel, let someone know where you are next time.”

“Clary and I broke up,” said Jace.

Jace didn’t know where it came from. Truth be told, it was kind of out of context and had nothing to do with what Alec had just said while having everything to do with it all at the same time.

Alec was silent for a while. Jace appreciated this new anger management strategy of actually thinking before saying something dumb. Many a Shadowhunter could benefit from this tactic, which seemed to have been learned from Magnus, but Jace also relied on his almost-brother’s uncensored thoughts to get him through life.

“And you went to Simon first.” The ‘and not me’ that was missing from the end of that sentence was like an anchor, so large and glaring that Jace felt like he was actually reading the thought from Alec’s mind.

“Oh don’t make this about yourself,” said Jace in a low voice. “You focus all your time on your job and on your boyfriend instead of on your family! You can’t be upset at me for turning to the one person who has demonstrated in recent memory that they have time for me. Yeah. I’m surprised that that person’s Simon too, but our friendship sort of just happened. I can’t explain it, so I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“You’re right, Jace,” said Alec.

“Huh?” asked Jace straightening. Had he revealed too much in his rambling?

“I said you’re right. I haven’t been giving you as much time as I should have. But you know me. Despite our differences, the two of us are really quite the same. We both retreat when we can’t handle our emotions. First the Clave got to mom, and I can’t let them do it to you too. I turned to my work because I can’t handle failing twice. I don’t want to see you turned into a mundane. There’s nothing wrong with being one, but that is not the path you are meant to be on. I know that in my heart.”

“None of this is your fault, Alec,” said Jace sighing heavily. “See. That’s your problem. You always take the fall for things that aren't in your control.”

“Older brother complex,” said Alec.

“Well, brother, don’t worry. Simon and I have a plan so that the mundane outcome won’t happen. We’re working on it.” said Jace. “I’m moving in with him and—”

Alec looked as if he was about to have an aneurism. “I-I’m sorry,” he sputtered, hyperventilating. “Come again? Did I miss something here?”

“Not like that,” said Jace groaning.

“I’ve got an Institute to run. I can’t afford to die young by heart attack when we’re already at high risk just by doing what we do!” said Alec. “Would it kill you to get some better tact? Now, moving in with him how?”

Jace sighed, pulling his stele out of his pocket to activate some glamour runes that would prevent subway passengers from eavesdropping on their conversation. Up until now, their conversation had been borderline unsafe to have around mundanes to begin with, but now it really would be.

“I never told you about how Simon helped me kill the demon, Alec. Or about how it turned up in the first place.”

“He usually just flails around uselessly until he takes a lucky shot or until he distracts the demon long enough for one of us to take one. And demons show up unexpectedly all the time. I didn’t think I needed the details. What’s there to be discussed besides the fact that you were disobeying your orders by becoming active again and fighting instead of calling for backup?” asked Alec as the subway came to a screeching halt at one of the stops. Alec waited until it started moving again to continue speaking. “And what does this have to do with the fact that you’re moving in with him anyway?”

“I was in the bar—“

“Day drinking your life away—“

“Save it, Alec,” said Jace through gritted teeth. “I was in the bar, and this demon just appeared out of nowhere. I _swear_. It was like someone summoned it or it was drawn to me or something. I don’t know. I haven’t told anyone about how it turned up until now, so do you think you can still keep my secrets? I didn’t want to put you in a position where you have to hide your knowledge from the Institute and the Clave. And you know as well as I do that I could not have waited for backup to get there when there were mundanes around. I didn’t have that kind of time.”

“So the demon shows up, but it doesn’t seem random. Got it. And Simon comes into this how?”

“I cornered the demon into the alley behind the bar to get away from the mundanes. Simon called while I was fighting. Maia had left his apartment after finding out about Jordan’s true identity and Simon wanted to track her down so she wouldn’t hurt anybody in her anger. He could tell I was fighting a demon over the phone and used his vampire speed to get there almost instantly. If anyone was doing any useless flailing at the time, it was me. I was tipsy and off my game, and suddenly the demon was coming at Simon and—“

“His mark injured the demon,” finished Alec. “Jace! How long have you been sitting on this? You know you’re supposed to tell us every time the mark activates.”

“Alec, the mark didn’t just activate. Simon’s mark turned the demon into a _pillar of salt_.”

“Oh that’s much better! Now I totally see why you didn’t tell me,” Alec sneered. “Seriously? What are we going to do about this? I’m not sure the institute can handle another disaster. We’re barely keeping the owl demon case from being reported by mundane media outlets as it is, and our Shadowhunter field agents are swamped with complicated glamoring for all the relatives whose family was killed. Over half of our best fighters are secretly being outsourced to other states to prevent other Institutes from finding out about this whole thing, and now we have to deal with Simon’s Mark 2.0: Salt Edition? Can my day get any worse?”

“I said don’t worry about it,” said Jace. “The Praetor is already on it.”

“The Praetor Lupus knew about the pillar of salt thing before the Institute? Well that’s just great. Do you work for them now too? Is that why you’re moving in with him? Jace, you work for us, not for them.”

“I work for myself, Alec. You know that. I do what I want, and you know as well as I do that this is the best course of action. The Praetor is capable of doing a great many things without having to cater to the Clave’s every whim unlike us, which is to ours and Simon’s benefit in a situation like this. Like you said, the Institute doesn't have time to deal with this, but Praetor Lupus does, and while they’re doing that, the Institute is working on the owl demon case. Besides, I’m not entirely sure the two are unconnected anyway, which is why this is the fastest way to solve both of them. And to answer your question about why I’m moving in with him, with the Praetor working on Simon’s case, they have decided that instead of the escorts that they and Institute originally prescribed, that Simon should be under 24/7 supervision instead. Jordan and I have both agreed to do it, and it makes sense. We can’t afford to have it activate again without knowing whether it will injure someone or turn them into a pillar of salt. Living there will put me in a good spot. That way, I can have ears to the ground on that situation and can keep you posted immediately if there’s a breakthrough. And you know just as well as I do that this is hardly a dangerous job. We’ll mostly be at the apartment, so our demon encounters will be limited and I won’t have to have active status to handle it. Plus, if demons do show up, then Simon has a built-in defense mechanism on his forehead. It’s arguably safer for me there. Simon has been good to me and good for me and we’re going to figure out both my situation with the three week deadline and his,” said Jace. “There’s nothing for me at the Institute right now. You know I’ve always been better on the ground, Alec. Please let me do this.”

Alec sighed, smiling somewhat despite himself at Jace’s long tirade. He was clearly passionate about this. “You already said that you work for yourself. Plus, I know you. Even, if I said no, you’d only just do it anyway. You don’t need my approval, Jace.”

“You’re right,” said Jace returning the hesitant smile. “But it is sure nice to have it.” Jace’s smile faltered for a moment. “You know,” he continued slowly, as if he was just now coming to terms with his following thought just now. “All this time I thought I was protecting Simon from himself when...” Jace just sighed.

“He’s been the one protecting you from yourself all along?” Alec offered.

“Yeah, something like that,” Jace muttered.

Jace just closed his eyes and sighed, leaning his head against the cool window of the subway car.

“I thought you hated the subway,” said Alec trying to change the subject. ”I never thought I’d see the day you bought a MetroCard.”

Jace didn’t mention that the reason he hated the subway so much was  because all the flashing lights and fast past movements give him anxiety. But it was the quickest and easiest way to get to Simon’s place, and he couldn’t ask Clary or Magnus to help him portal everywhere he needed to go.

“It’s not my card. It’s Simon’s.”

“You’re not keeping anything else from me, are you?” asked Alec.

“Not a chance.”

“Simon lives far from the Institute.”

“I’m aware.”

“And yet you’re always there now.”

“Yes, that seems to be the case.”

“And you let him fold your jacket and put it in the closet.”

“That again? I heard you bothering him about it when I went to go look for it. I didn’t _let_ him do anything,” Jace hissed. “I must have fallen onto the floor when I was sleeping, and he picked it up and hung it up. That’s all.” Jace balked. He hadn’t meant to go into that much detail about how exactly it might have ended up on the floor.

“And now you’re even sleeping at his place,” said Alec almost laughing. “I guess moving in _is_ the next step. The Jace from six months ago who wouldn’t let me hear the end of it after I accidentally picked up his jacket at that party wouldn’t believe this.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Alec. I didn’t even know Clary six months ago.”

Alec paused his mockery at that. Jace could tell he had made him feel guilty. Good. Alec deserved it.

“If it means anything to you, I was wrong about her,” said Alec. “Clary, even with all the new demon drama we’ve had to deal with, ex-Circle members, and murderous fathers, is one of the best things to happen to the Institute in a long time.”

Jace’s eyes were unfocused and his mind seemed to be elsewhere. That pain was apparent on his face as his gaze shifted to looking out the window, which kept flashing with blinding light as the subway car rushed along the tracks.

“It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t even matter anymore...” Jace was trailing off.

“What is that _smell_?” cried a passenger on the subway suddenly.

“Jace!” Alec exclaimed. “Behemoth demon! Twelve o’clock!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi if you're still reading! I'm sorry I didn't update this sooner! Life got in the way, but hopefully the updates will be somewhat more regular now. Here's your daily reminder that this story isn't beta-ed, so hopefully you don't cringe too much at all the errors. As always, thank you for staying faithful, reading, and commenting! Happy Holidays if you celebrate!


	9. the law is hard

“So what’s the plan?” asked Jace, as Alec was already getting into standing position.

Demons attacked with mundanes around all the time, but Jace had never experienced a demon hunt in such a confined area. Even if the mundanes saw what was about to go down as a normal, New York City skirmish, someone could call the cops and Alec and Jace wouldn’t have time to escape the underground area before the policed showed.

“Attack now, glamour later,” Alec replied. “Excuse me,” he said brushing past a mundane that was standing in the aisle, holding onto the pole.

“What he said,” said Jace following Alec towards the front of the car where the demon was slimily making its way down the center aisle, bumping into mundanes who were none the wiser about what was going on. It was just their unfortunate luck they they had been sitting in the very back of the subway car and would have to make their way through literally everyone who was standing in the center aisle to get to the demon. Jace groaned internally. This honestly couldn’t be any worse. At least right now, they looked like clueless tourists who had no idea how subways worked instead of trained Shadowhunters.

“Oh my,” someone exclaimed, snapping Jace out of his thoughts. “It’s a stray dog!”

“Smells like it’s been wading through a swamp!” another person shouted.

“How’d it even get on here?” someone else said in a nasal voice as they plugged their nose.

“Great,” said Jace, grasping Alec’s shoulder to prevent him from going any further. “They’re seeing the Behemoth demon as a dog.”

“Yes, I have ears too,” Alec quipped back sarcastically. “But this means we can’t kill it publically.”

Suddenly the train slowed, coming to a screeching halt.

“This is our chance, and this is our stop anyway,” said Jace. “Oh _there_ you are, Fluffy! We’ve been looking all over for you!” Jace exclaimed loudly, as a few curious heads snapped in their direction. Jace pushed past Alec towards the demon and could have sworn he heard Alec groan at Jace’s little diversion. As Jace drew dangerously close to the demon, it opened its mouth, making a loud screeching noise that Jace hoped the mundanes were currently hearing as an adorable bark.

The demon made to attack Jace, but as the subway doors opened, Alec rushed past them and stood in between the inside of the subway car and the platform to prevent them from closing, much to the chagrin of the passengers who were trying to both enter and exit the train.

“Move it, pretty boy!”

“Hey, you’re in the way!”

“Get outta here, kid! I gots places to be!”

Alec ignored the boisterous pedestrians, bent his knees, leaned forward, and slapped his thighs. “Here, boy!” he exclaimed, playing along with Jace’s act. The demon took the bait, losing interest in trying to eat Jace’s face off and moved towards Alec. “Attaboy,” said Alec before running off the train at lightning speed as the demon quickened its pace. The demon followed Alec as Jace tailed them both. Alec didn’t look back as he ran along the platform, through the gate, and towards the exit. Even if the mundanes were currently seeing a dog, Jace still thought that the three of them must be a ridiculously strange sight, but they were in New York and the regulars had probably seen weirder things than this in this city by now.

Alec ran up the stairs with both the demon and Jace following closely behind. When he surfaced, he popped out of the subway station closest to the Institute. It was just starting to turn dark outside, and the street lamps were flickering on as Alec rushed across the street and into an alley. Suddenly a street light turned green, and Jace had to dash in-between cars to follow where Alec had gone, slowing him down considerably and putting some distance in between himself and his parabatai and the demon.

In the alley, Alec realized that he was headed towards a brick wall dead end, but he was agile enough to use his momentum to run partially up the alley wall, ricochet himself off a dumpster, and do a backflip into the air so that he was behind the demon. When he was a younger Shadowhunter, he hadn’t taken as easily to fighting demons as Jace and Isabelle had, and actually killing one had come much, much later. But now, he fought with the confidence of someone who had been doing this his whole life. The demon was dead by the time Jace came running into the alley, and Alec smelled atrocious, as he had been splattered by the icky Behemoth guts when his arrow pierced the slimy flesh.

“What took you so long? asked Alec, strapping his bow back to his back.  
“Sorry,” said Jace slightly gasping for air. “The stoplight turned green just after you crossed the street, and I had to jump over a few cars to get here.”

“Why are you out of breath?” asked Alec calmy. He himself hadn’t broken a sweat. “I know we didn’t have time to activate our stamina runes, but are you that out of practice?”

“Rub it in, why don’t you? Let’s go back and get you changed. You smell like shit,” said Jace trying to blow it off, but on the inside he was freaking out. What if they had been up against a more powerful demon than that and Alec had actually needed his help? He could have died fighting alone. And Alec hadn’t seen it, but Jace _had_ activated his runes before running off the subway. They just didn’t seem to be helping very much anymore. Thankfully, Alec didn’t press the matter any further.

“Fluffy? Really? That was the best dog name you could come up with?” Alec said instead.

***

When Alec and Jace arrived at the Institute, the vast emptiness was immediately apparent, especially in comparison to the last time Jace had been there. He had been keeping such weird hours that he had barely been there during the regular workday enough to notice the dwindling number of Shadowhunters.

“Follow me to my office,” said Alec. “I want to show you some of the footage of the owl demon that Underhill has been working on. He’s enhanced the lighting to make the quality clearer and we finally got a good look at its face. Moves in a strangely humanoid way too.”

“You don’t want to change first?” asked Jace. “To reiterate: You. Smell. Like. Shit.”

“No, I want to do this first so you can get going back to Simon’s as soon as possible,” said Alec. Jace frowned. “Come on. I know by now you’re only here to get your stuff and not to stay awhile. Just follow me, okay?”

Jace thought of not going, but he decided to just follow Alec anyway. Viewing the footage for a moment wouldn’t hurt, would it? Plus, it would get him up to date on the latest news with the owl demon, which would help if he, Jordan, or Simon ever encountered it. Jace followed Alec down the narrow hallway to his office. Alec threw open the door, but he stopped in his tracks as soon as it opened.

“There you are, Mr. Lightwood. Hello, Mr. Herondale as well. Do you know I’ve been waiting on your return for almost three hours?“

“Consul Penhallow. How nice to see you,” said Alec with a winning smile.

Jace had to give it to him. His parabatai was an amazing actor. For some reason, around his family and friends Alec was a trash liar, but around the Clave’s Consul? Rock solid. It impressed him, but it also unnerved him.

“In fact,” Jia Penhallow continued, ignoring Alec’s polite greeting, “You both are precisely who I came here to see today. But first I must ask, where in the Angel’s name have you been? And why do you smell like the New York City Sewage System? And where are the rest of your Shadowhunters?”

She was sitting in Alec’s place behind the desk. Of course Alec was the Head of the Institute, but when the Consul was in town, he might as well be just another foot soldier. There was also a portal shining on the wall, most likely leading back to Idris from whence she had come.

“We’ve just returned from Brooklyn where most of our field workers are cleaning up after a large demonic battle,” said Alec. Then, “Don’t worry, Consul. It was nothing to write home to Idris about. Just a bunch of Behemoth demons on the loose, which as you know can get a little messy to clean up.”

Jia Penhallow raised her eyebrows at the description. It wasn’t entirely apparent that she believed Alec’s lie though. He was stretching the truth here. It was true about the demon, but there had only been one, and it had been in Manhattan, not Brooklyn. The rest of the Shadowhunters had been outsourced to other states to work on glamours, which Alec was conveniently leaving out of the story.  

“And Mr. Herondale was accompanying you because? He’s supposed to be on inactive status, just working here.”

“I promise that he only accompanied me on the return, Consul. He was already in Brooklyn due to it being his day off, and he returned with me back here and got caught in the crossfire.”

“Right. Day off,” said Jia pacing. “About that. The Clave has been receiving numerous anonymous reports about Mr. Herondale’s plethora of unexcused absences. We’re aware that he has medical clearance to have more sick days than average Shadowhunters, but even these have all been exhausted and he has been using vacation days that no longer exist.”

“Surely you can’t prove—“ Alec started saying.

“Oh, yes we can actually,” Jia interrupted. “I’m aware that you two are quite close, but it is not in your best interest to defend him here Alec Lightwood, lest you want to lose your position as well. The reports and complaints we received were anonymous and by Clave protocol are confidential, but whoever submitted them made sure they were very well-documented, and the evidence is quite damning. I’ve seen it myself. I’m sorry, but my hands are tied here. Unfortunately, Mr. Herondale, the Clave has decided that both your active and inactive Shadowhunter status be suspended until further notice. A trial is being scheduled as we speak, but until then, you are no longer under the protection of the New York Institute or any Institute for that matter. Of course, no one can stop you from visiting although I advise against that. In any case, you are not to be housed here any longer or utilize any more services such as the infirmary. I came to deliver the news personally because of the sensitive nature of this issue. I’m aware of the fact that you recently discovered your true parentage and have had to deal with a number of issues that are out of your control, both medical and otherwise, but as you both know, the Law is hard, but it is the Law. I came personally to tell you out of respect for the Lightwood and Herondale family names and legacies so that you make break the news to your colleagues in the most appropriate manner that you see fit. I also wanted to give my personal expertise and advise on the matter. The short of it is that I urge you not to expect the decision of your trial to result in your status being renewed, especially in light of the medical timeline you’ve already been given by the Silent Brothers at the City of Bones. Do you understand all of this, Mr. Herondale?”

Jace bowed his head in deference. “I-yes. Yes, I understand, Consul.”

“Once again, I do sincerely apologize,” said Jia. “Now, I really must be returning to Idris. I’ve been away for far too long. Mr. Lightwood, the next time I return, this Institute must show signs that it is being run competently, and there must be a deputy Head that can take charge in the case of an extended absence. What I witnessed here today was atrocious, but fortunately for you, the point of today’s visit was not an Institute wellness check. Do not disappoint me next time,” said Jia. “The Clave has sent inspectors here from Idris in the past, and we _will_ do so again if need be.”

“Yes, Consul. Of course,” said Alec. “You’re correct as always. My deepest and most sincere apologies.”

Jia Penhallow nodded and then stepped through the portal in the wall, disappearing into time and space before the portal closed behind her.

As soon as the coast was clear Alec stumbled dumbstruck over to his chair behind the desk, which was still warm from Jia sitting in it. Jace rolled his eyes.

“ _My deepest and most sincere apologies_ ,” Jace imitated Alec in stupid, sarcastic voice. He made a fake retching noise, but Alec only ignored him.

“Damnit, Jace!” Alec exclaimed, banging both fists on the table, which startled Jace into silence.

Jace was silent as he let Alec silently fume for a few moments and then simmer down to a low boil.

Suddenly, instead of speaking to him, Alec pressed an intercom button.

“Paging Raj to the Head of the Institute’s office.”

“What are you doing, Alec?” asked Jace, but it was clear that Alec was not going to say anything else to him.

It didn’t take that long for Raj to make his way to Alec’s office, but every moment Jace had to wait for him to show only made his anger grow worse. Raj was probably one of the only Shadowhunters that was still at the Institute while the others were in other states. Alec still hadn’t really forgiven him for being unbearable to Simon that day a couple weeks ago, and though it wasn’t on the books, he was unofficially punishing him by regulating him to interior duties. Jace leaned against the wall near the door as he waited, crossing his arms. He was dying to know what was going on in Alec’s head. He thought they had somewhat made up on the subway, but Jia Penhallow’s unexpected visit seemed to have reignited all of their barely patched-over issues.

“You called,” asked Raj poking his head into the office. “Oh by the Angel, what is that _smell_?”

“Behemoth demon,” said Alec in a low monotone. “But that’s besides the point. I take it this is your doing?” he said, gesturing to Jace.

Raj jumped, not having noticed that Jace was in the office too. It was easy to not notice Jace as the way he was leaning against the wall right next to the door easily caused a blind spot.

“Oh, Herondale. Funny seeing you around here,” said Raj. “And unfortunately no, Alec. Jace’s existence in the world was not my doing and has alluded most of us here for almost a decade now.”

Jace just rolled his eyes. “Alec, what is all this?”

“I don’t know. Ask Raj.”

“Okay. I’m confused,” said Raj walking into the office and closing the door behind him. “What do you think I did? Bring Jace back to the Institute? I’m a Shadowhunter, not a miracle worker. Plus you know as well as I do that I haven’t even been out of here lately.”

“You’re telling me you know nothing about the Consul coming here? Nothing about the anonymous complaints about Jace’s performance as a Shadowhunter? None of that rings any bells?” asked Alec.

“Wait, what?” asked Raj at least somewhat trying to hide the fact that his eyes had just lit up like a kid’s on Christmas. “Are you serious? Okay, I see why you think it was me,” he said almost laughing at this point. “But it wasn’t. I’m not mad that it happened, though. The universe works in mysterious ways and he’s just been served with some sweet, sweet well-deserved karma.”

Alec looked legitimately surprised. “You _are_ telling the truth,” he realized aloud.

“Of course I am,” said Raj. “I’m being a dick about it, but it’s the truth. Seriously, Jia Penhallow was here? Ah yes, the portal runes on the wall do seem fresh.” Alec followed his glance to the wall where the portal had been, and he squinted hard at the runes that had been drawn there. Meanwhile, Raj looked at Jace shaking his head. “If she was here, you must be done for.” Then he glanced back at Alec. “Is that all you wanted from me? I’ve got some weapons to clean.”

“Yes, you’re dismissed,” said Alec still looking at the wall. “But no one from the Institute is to know of this little meeting or about the information you just found out. Clear?” he said taking his gaze off the wall long enough to look at him with a serious expression on his face.

“Crystal,” said Raj. “See you around, Alec. Later, Herondale,” he smirked as he brushed past Jace, purposely knocking his shoulder against his as walked out the door.

As soon as he was gone, Jace sighed, resting his head against the wall he was currently leaning against and closing his eyes. “God, I hate him.” He was glad the Head of the Institute office was soundproof because Raj was probably still within earshot of the door otherwise.

Alec stilled at Jace’s comment. It sounded like something Simon might say, or something he would have said, rather, back when he was still able to say the word ‘God’ aloud. Usually Shadowhunters used the same expressions, but replaced ‘God’ with ‘Angel,’ but Jace had used the rarer mundane expression, which was a little out of character for him.

When Jace opened his eyes, Alec had pulled out his cellphone and Jace tried to see who’s number he was dialing, but he was too far away to read the name.

Jace heard the person on the other side of the line say, “Hello,” quite clearly due to his somewhat elevated hearing which was still activated from the fight with the Behemoth demon, unbeknownst to Alec.

“Magnus,” was all Alec said. It was a cool, brisk tone that Jace had never heard him use with his boyfriend before, at least once they had started dating.

“What’s wrong, Alexander?” said Magnus quickly, his voice so loud to Jace he might as well be on speaker phone.

“I don’t know. Just the fact that you opened a portal for Jia Penhallow _in my office_ at least three whole hours ago and neglected to tell me, leading Jace and me to get blindsided by her sudden appearance.”

“Oh no! Sorry, I didn’t tell you, angel. Izzy let me in hours ago. Jia said it was nothing I needed to know about which I took to mean that I needed to know every detail immediately, but I didn’t have time to drill her. I thought Izzy would fill you in. Please forgive me. As soon as I opened _her_ portal, I had to open one for myself to Georgia because things are getting a _little_ hectic over here.”

“I know,” said Alec still sounding upset. “That’s how I knew it was you. I could see the marks you left from the other portal.”

“Had to keep Anderson updated, you know. It was better that I come in person. If it means anything, despite the chaos, your Shadowhunters are doing good work down here. Glamours seem to be sticking and the mundanes are none the wiser as usual. Did you find Jace? Is everyone still alive over there?” asked Magnus.

“Yes, I found him. He’s fine and still alive unless I kill him before you get back.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Worse,” said Alec. “Sorry, I can’t talk about this right now,” said Alec quickly. “I have some things to straighten out around here. I’ll call you back later.” Then, he traded his angry tone for a shy one as he added a hesitant, “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Bye.”

Alec hung up the phone and Jace looked away, not wanting to have heard that whole exchange. He felt as if he were intruding on a moment that he definitely wasn’t invited to, and he’d never heard Alec and Magnus exchange ‘I love yous’ before, which Alec seemed to be embarrassed to do in front of Jace or just in general. Jace’s heart ached for them. He wanted so badly for their relationship to work out. Alec deserved all the happiness in the world that he hadn’t received while they were growing up, and Magnus seemed to be giving that to him. Jace knew Alec was still unsure of his family’s support, which often grated on Jace’s consciousness. That conversation between Alec and Magnus had been strained at best, and Jace hated to be at fault. Not only was he ruining all of his own relationships, but he was ruining Alec’s now too. Great.     

“Good catch with the portals,” was all Jace could think of to say after the silence had gotten to be increasingly awkward. His mind was on packing all his belongings. He had already done enough damage here.

“If it wasn’t Raj, I really don’t know who else it could have been,” said Alec, too deep in his own mind to have noticed Jace’s compliment. “I know Clary’s angry, but she would never betray you like that. Izzy wouldn’t either, so it couldn’t have been either one of them.”

Jace sighed. “Alec, don’t you see? There’s only one person it could have been.”

Alec looked like he was performing a complicated differential equation in his head. “No, I _don’t_ see, Jace. Help me out, here. What am I missing that’s apparently oh-so-obvious to you?” he sneered.

“I’ll give you a hint,” said Jace. “He’s standing in this room and he’s not a brunette.”

Alec stood. “Jace!” he shouted. “How _could_ you. What were you thinking? You ratted your own self out? That’s essentially Shadowhunter suicide! You said you and Simon were working on a plan to make you better. Is this it? Because if so, it’s a shitty plan.”

Jace winced at Alec’s swearing. He only did it when he was extremely upset.

“I started submitting the complaints before Simon and I made the plans. I wanted to make it easier for you all to let me go. If it was the Clave intervening, then I know you wouldn’t blame yourselves for what happened as it would be beyond your control. But think about it: it’ll be good in the long run. I’m leaving the Institute anyway to move in with Simon and Jordan. Now it’s like I have the clearance to do so and no one will be upset that I’m missing around here anymore. As for now, the Clave is just stripping me of my status, which essentially means nothing except for that I’m a free agent which is exactly what I wanted in the first place. I still have my angelic blood and my stele. They haven’t stripped me of my marks, at least not yet, and there’s still a trial coming. I’ll figure it out before then, but for now I have to focus on protecting and saving Simon.”

Alec just shook his head, resting it in his hands for a moment before looking back up at him. “Jace, you’re impossible. I used to be able to predict your every move before you made it, and now I barely know what you’re doing when you’re standing right in front of me.”

Jace didn’t respond. “Are we done here? I have places to be.”

“I still have to show you this footage,” Alec replied. “Then you can do whatever the hell you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg Alec is the angstiest, I am so sorry, but also not sorry at all
> 
> also sorry for real that there's no Simon in this chapter, but you all seem to like the occasional Jace POV; Simon will be back next time as the fallout of this unfolds!
> 
> thanks for all your love and support and for still commenting, sending kudos, and reading after my long hiatus, ya'll seriously give me life!


	10. someone's heart

It was well past 10pm when there was a knock on the door. Not that Simon had been waiting up or anything. Okay, yes. Yes, he had. And at the kitchen table at that. With bated breath. Simon hated to admit that he was nervous about Jace, and to be quite honest, but hadn’t realized just how worried he’d been until he let out a relieved sigh as soon as he heard the knock. Jace needed surveillance right now as much as Simon did himself. Simon wanted to believe that Jace wouldn’t stop for a drink on the way there, but he had been gone a long time now, which meant anything could have happened between when he and Alec left and right now.

Simon had passed the time by going through a great number of the papers and books on the table. Some were quite easy to understand whereas others might as well be gibberish. After he had tired of that, he flipped through the packet containing all the known Shadowhunter runes. He had never seen them all laid out like that before, so he had gone to his room and pulled out a mostly blank sketchbook. Back in his school days, he had taken some art classes so that he could hang out with Clary. Because of that, he was fairly decent at drawing at this point although Clary was still a million times better. He was at least competent enough to freehand some runes after looking at them though.

Jordan beat him to the door. Simon saw him peek his head out of his bedroom when Jace knocked. Simon smirked.

“You answer it, in case it’s a demon,” said Simon under the pretense of keeping up the joke when really he just didn’t want to appear too eager to see Jace. Plus, he would be lying if he said he knew how to undo all the complicated locks and bolts Jordan had recently installed on the door.

Jordan wordlessly entered the open living space, walked past where Simon was sitting at the table, and went to the door. It didn’t take him too long to undo the deadbolts, and before he knew it he heard Jace’s terse voice saying a muffled, “Hey” to Jordan before he saw the blonde Shadowhunter himself enter the room.

“Surprised you knocked this time,” said Jordan laughing. “When you don’t live here, you just waltz right in like you own the place, but when you move in, you knock like you’re selling Girl Scout cookies.”

“Guess I’m unpredictable,” said Jace, monotone as he brushed past Jordan and entered the apartment. Simon let out a short chuckle. That was the understatement of the year.

“Hey, Si,” Jace mumbled in a low voice. He didn’t seem like he had been out drinking or anything but one could never tell with Jace. He hid things well.

Simon’s heart flip-flopped as he heard the nickname again. Jace walked over to the kitchen table and sat down across from Simon, sitting a small, black duffel bag on the floor at their feet. Meanwhile, Jordan closed the door, locked it back up again, walked to the kitchen, and started doing some dishes at the sink. The water from the faucet wasn’t loud enough to be too distracting though. Simon looked up from his sketchbook for a moment to look at Jace for the first time since he walked through the door.

“Hey, yourself,” Simon said. He looked down at Jace’s duffel bag with a slight frown on his face. “Is that all you brought?” he asked and regretted it instantly when the wounded puppy look flashed across Jace’s face. Jace didn’t seem to be in the best of moods in general, and that question hadn’t really helped. It had slipped out honestly.

“I don’t own that much stuff,” said Jace shrugging with a new expression on his face that could only be described as embarrassment. Simon had never seen him make that face before and he didn’t want to see him make it again. What happened to being Nick Garroway and not judging people that grew up with different life experiences from him?

“Cool,” said Simon. “I was just asking because if you need to borrow anything of mine, I’ve got you covered. Just let me know.”  
From where Simon was sitting at the table, he could see Jordan drying a mug with a dish towel. Jace’s back was to the kitchen, so Jordan took the opportunity to catch Simon’s eye and smirk. Simon’s new vampire abilities didn’t come with the ability to read minds, but sometimes Jordan’s face telegraphed emotions so clearly that Simon felt like he could read his anyway. ‘Nice save,’ Jordan mouthed to Simon, trying not laugh. Simon cut his eyes at him before realizing that even if Jace’s back was turned to Jordan, he could still see Simon, but thankfully Jace seemed too lost in his own mind to notice what was happening.

“Thanks,” was all Jace said, almost too long after Simon’s own response to even be relevant anymore. Jace happened to look down at the table and finally noticed all the papers and books that were cluttering it that hadn’t been there when he left. “What are you working on?” he asked standing and walking over to where Simon was and standing behind him to peer over his shoulder.

“The Praetor seems to have made some breakthroughs,” said Simon.

“About your mark?” asked Jace quickly.

“Yeah, but I’ll let Jordan explain it. There’s still some stuff he hasn’t even told me yet because we were waiting on you to get back.”

“Guys, I have like ten more dishes to do, and I’ll be right over there,” said Jordan. “You know, since I’m the backbone of this household and all.”

“You’re the only one who even eats here,” said Jace rolling his eyes.

Simon tried not to read anything into Jace coming to his defense so quickly like that.

“Yeah, and all those dishes are yours,” Simon added for good measure.

“Oh yeah? Well tell that to this crusty-ass grilled cheese frying pan from earlier,” said Jordan pointing the pan he was currently washing in their general direction. “And the red rim around this cup looks suspiciously like blood.” Jordan used the pan like a pointer to indicate the cup in question.

“Dude, I had that 30 minutes ago,” Simon groaned and Jace laughed.

“Whatever,” said Jordan. “I feel outnumbered now.”

“You should,” said Jace. This time it was Simon’s turn to laugh.

“Just give me like 10 more minutes,” said Jordan.

“Whatever,” said Jace. Then he looked down at the kitchen table again. “Those are Shadowhunter runes. Did the fae somehow use angelic runes to put the mark on your forehead?“

“Oh nothing like that,” said Simon. “It was just part of the research Jordan brought. I was bored, so I thought I’d try out a few. Sorry. Is that illegal?” asked Simon earnestly. Obviously non-Shadowhunters couldn’t bear marks on their skin, but were they allowed to draw them out for fun in a sketchbook?

“Don’t know, don’t care,” said Jace. “But where did you get this unauthorized copy of The Gray Book?”

“The gray what?” asked Simon.

“It’s a book that contains all the angelic marks,” said Jace.

“It’s not an original copy of The Gray Book,” said Jordan.

“Obviously,” said Jace, looking at the yellowed papers with disdain.

“It’s a hand-drawn replica from the Praetor Lupus library. We take what we can get.”

“Now that’s probably illegal,” said Jace grinning.

He was still standing behind Simon, but suddenly he pulled up a chair, turned it the other way around and sat backwards in it like he’d done in Simon’s room earlier. He leaned forward in it with surprising Shadowhunter agility, balancing his weight just right so that two back legs of the chair lifted slightly off the ground. Jace draped his arms around the back of it and peered over Simon’s shoulder, invading his personal space.

“Your iratze’s really not half-bad at at all,” said Jace sounding impressed. This seemed to be his way of giving a compliment, and he looked impressively cool doing it, leather jacket and all. “When we’re first starting our training, the utmost care is given to the learning of the runes. It’s not like handwriting where everyone has their own style. In order to be most effective, they should really look almost exactly the same. Of course, there’s always naturally some variance, but identical is the goal. Therefore, when we’re first learning, a more experienced Shadowhunter literally guides our hand until we get it right. May I?” asked Jace.

Simon nodded, too distracted by Jace’s closeness to understand what exactly he was consenting to. Jace picked up the pencil and placed it in Simon’s hand. Jace turned Simon’s hand over and rested the palm of his own hand over the flat of Simon’s. Simon didn’t understand what Jace was doing until he started guiding Simon’s hand over the paper. They were drawing an iratze together. It reminded Simon of that time in the bar when Simon had helped Jace draw some runes on himself to sober up, but sort of the other way around.

“You have to remember that the angle is very important on this one,” said Jace as he guided Simon’s hand effortlessly through the curves. “And the closer you draw it to someone’s heart, the more effective it is. But honestly,” said Jace as they finished the complicated rune with a flourish, “The one you drew without me wasn’t bad at all. It would have still worked. You’re pretty good at this. You know, for whatever reason, when I was first learning, the iratze took me the longest. Years even. I just couldn’t get it down.”

“Oh,” said Simon still distracted by Jace’s proximity and by the fact that they had finished the rune, but Jace had yet to remove his hand, and it was warm and golden on Simon’s cool, pale one. ‘Pull yourself together, Lewis! He just complimented you. Say something cool!’ Simon thought to himself. His brain almost short-circuited as he tried to remember how to speak basic English. “Um, well it’s not too hard for me because it kind of looks like a forte symbol penetrating a quarter rest.” Simon gasped immediately after saying that, yanking his hand out from under Jace’s to cover his mouth. “Oh my God, I did _not_ just say that out loud,” he said but the damage was already done.

Jordan, who was still at the sink, was howling with laughter so hard that he had to put the glass in his hand down on the counter and actually sink onto the floor and put his head in his hands.

“Real smooth, Simon,” Jordan said through hysterical chortles. “I think I’m crying!”

Simon looked at Jace who wasn’t laughing but was looking back at Simon with a perplexed expression on his face. Great, now Simon had totally screwed everything up. As if he couldn’t be weird enough already and then he went and said that. Just great. 10/10. Fantastic job, Simon Lewis. You nailed it.

“Simon,” said Jace slowly, snapping Simon out of his self-deprecating spiral. “You just said ‘God.’”

“Huh?” asked Simon.

“God,” said Jace. “The word. You said it just now. Right after you said that embarrassing remark about the iratze that I won’t repeat because I’m trying to erase it from my memory.”

“Jace is right,” said Jordan standing back up and still laughing a bit. “You said: ‘Oh my God.’”

Simon rewinded the conversation in his head. “Hmm,” he replied. “I guess I did.” Simon thought he should try saying it again. “G-g-g,” he tried starting it. “G-d,” he sighed. That still wasn’t it. Simon looked up at Jace who honestly looked quite disappointed.

“Maybe next time,” said Jace quietly.  
  
“You know what,” said Jordan, “I’ll just finish up the dishes later. Why don’t we just talk now?”  
  
“Yeah, that’s fine,” said Simon.

  
*

“So the Praetor thinks the Seelie Queen put the _literal_ Mark of Cain on Simon’s forehead?” asked Jace.

“Literal is a strong word here,” said Jordan. The three of them were seated at the kitchen table, the dishes long forgotten in the sink. “The fae are some of the oldest-known living creatures besides demons. But with demons constantly being killed and returned to places like Edom, the fae definitely have the longest-running accessible institutional memory, and are the only ones capable of using this kind of ancient magic. They’re the only ones who remember how. Some of our sources even say the fae originally put the mark on Cain and not God. So we’ve narrowed it down to three theories, one being that God did it to Cain, and the fae were around to witness it and replicated it on Simon’s forehead, two being that God did it to Cain, but the fae weren’t there but just used the idea of the Mark as inspiration in combination with some very ancient magic to at least replicate its effects if not the mark itself. And of course the last and most plausible theory is that the fae did it before to Cain and they did it again to you, Simon.

“In any case,” Jordan continued. “It seems like only Daylighters are able to withstand the marking process which why this is the second known usage in history. It raises some very interesting biblical questions about Cain and about you. This would not only imply that Cain was a vampire, but also that he was a Daylighter too. But that’s a research question for another day. The major concern here is that your mark is somewhat more dangerous than we previously thought, which is why we increased Simon’s protection to full time instead of escort,” Jordan explained. “If anyone finds out about the power you have and tries to harness it, you could be in danger. But you should be alright. The effects of the mark aren’t random. It returns harm sevenfold to the perpetrator of an attack which is why I was only injured when I attacked Simon, but the demon that attacked Jace was turned to salt.”

“That’s the difference between sparring and the intent to kill,” said Jace.

“Exactly,” said Jordan.

Jace looked at Simon like he was a time bomb. “Why would they do this to him?” he asked angrily.

“Daylighters aren’t common. Perhaps they took the opportunity because it was a rare one,” said Jordan, but he sounded unconvinced.

“That’s not what you think, though,” said Jace. “You seem to be the king of theories tonight. What do you really think is going on?”

“I think,” started Jordan gravely. “That they have a particular enemy in mind. They must because it wouldn’t make sense to give Simon a mark that could kill them too if they didn’t intend him to use it on someone else.”

“But who could that be?” asked Simon. “We’ve already defeated both Valentine and Sebastian. And for those of us in the room who didn’t read Harry Potter, there’s typically only one main bad guy to fight. The fact that we’ve even had two by now is weird. Now you’re saying there’s a third one? Highly unlikely.”

“Simon, this isn’t a silly fantasy novel,” said Jordan. “It’s real life, and we can’t afford to underestimate or not be ready for the enemy.”

“The owl demon seems dangerous, but not the type of dangerous that warrants a heavenly mark,” said Jace. “And the owl demon’s been MIA for a while, but there’s a bizarre increase in demonic activity lately. Just today, a Behemoth demon attacked while Alec and I were on the subway.”

“ _On_ the subway?” asked Jordan. “Like while you were riding it?”

“Yes.”

“That’s unreal.”

“Are you okay?” asked Simon quickly looking Jace up and down as if to check for injuries.

“Hey, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Alec and I took care of it--well mostly Alec, but it’s dead.”

There was an awkward silence as Simon and Jace just looked at one another.

“So we need to decide on shifts for watching Simon. I need to go the headquarters some mornings, so I propose I watch him from 12pm to 12am, and you take the night shift?” said Jordan. “That way, if I need to go, I’ll be back on time.”

“Deal,” said Jace.

“And you can sleep on the couch,” said Jordan.

“No!” said Simon quickly. Jordan and Jace both stared at him. “I only mean that if he’s going to be up from 12am to 12pm, he’ll be sleeping during the day, so I won’t be using my bed then. You can just stay in my room. If you want,” said Simon.

“Well if you’re offering,” said Jordan.

“Thanks, Simon,” said Jace. “You know you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to. It’s the least I can do.”

Once, again, there was an awkward silence as the two stared at one another.

“You know what?” asked Jordan, clearing his throat. “Why don’t I finish up the dishes, and you can show Jace where he’ll be staying?”

  
*

“I actually already cleaned out the bottom drawer for you,” said Simon once they were in the room and the door was shut behind them.

At the time he had been worried that only one drawer wouldn’t be enough room, but now it was clear that it was more than adequate given that Jace had so few belongings. Jace nodded and bent to his knees as he began unpacking his things.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” said Simon.

“You’re not.”

“Ah he’s back,” said Simon with a smile, but Jace didn’t reply again. Usually by now he would have quipped back with something sarcastic, but for whatever reason, he wasn’t talking. “You know, if it’s about what I said earlier about you having so few belongings, I’m sorry. I know Shadowhunters don’t have like a whole Ikea store in their bedrooms. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“It’s not about you,” Jace replied curtly as he folded a shirt and put it in the drawer.

“What’s it about, then?” asked Simon. Jace only continued packing. “Look, Jace. I know we don’t do this that often, but I’m here for you, man. I thought we were at least past the point in our friendship where we could at least have a basic conversation. If you’re going to live here, you’re going to have to talk to me. Just logistically, this is how it’s going to have to work. I can keep talking to a wall all day if you want, but it’s going to get annoying very quickly.”

Jace just sighed as he stopped packing for a moment. “I did something very bad.”

“What did you do?”

“Before you came up with that plan to fix me, I reported all my absences to the Clave anonymously to make it easier for my family to accept my being stripped of my marks when it finally came to that. Now, I’ve been effectively banned from the Institute and taken off of both active and inactive duty. There will still be a hearing, but the Consul herself personally came to tell me that my fate is essentially decided. And to tell you the truth, I don’t even care about any of that. I think I may have ruined things with Alec for good. He’s so angry with me. I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive me,” his voice breaking on the last part of the sentence.

“Oh come, on, Jace,” said Simon earnestly. “Of course he’ll forgive you. He’s your parabatai. I remember reading about it once. Something about unbreakable vows, brotherhood, and undying love or something like that? Whatever it is sounds hard to undo if you ask me.”

“Yeah,” said Jace. “Tell that to Luke and Valentine. Or Michael Wayland and Robert Lightwood.”

“I would,” said Simon, “But at least two of those people are dead.”

“I shouldn’t be here,” said Jace, stuffing clothes back into his bag suddenly. “I’ll tell Jordan to send over someone from the Praetor to do it instead. My days as a Shadowhunter are numbered now. I should leave while I still can.”

”Wait, Jace!” said Simon, rushing over to him and getting on his knees beside him, but Jace ignored him as he continued repacking his duffle bag. “Stop. _Please_ ,” said Simon grabbing Jace’s hands to physically stop him. “If you would think clearly for just a second, you would realize how stupid you’re being. See, this is why you have to tell people things. You don’t have a clear head right now, and you need me to help you see past this. None of this affects my plan, you know. I’m not going anywhere, and I really believe I can still help you. So what, that Jia Penhallow said that? The good thing about your situation is that those reports you made were anonymous. Alec won’t rat you out, and when you show up to your hearing like the badass Shadowhunter you are, they won’t be able to help but reinstate your status. And if they don’t, screw them. We’ll figure something out to cover for your absences, alright?”

Jace just nodded as he looked down to where his fingers were intertwined with Simon’s. Simon felt his heart get heavy all of a sudden, and he realized that they were sitting so close to one another on the ground, that he could lean over and kiss Jace if he wanted. And he almost did, but he decided going for a hug was safer.

His arms were barely around Jace’s shoulders before Simon remembered how little Jace seemed to like hugs and how he had reminded Simon that the time they’d done it had been a one-time thing.

“Sorry, I forgot you don’t like hugs” Simon was saying as he moved to disengage himself, but Jace wouldn’t let him.

“Please don’t let go,” Jace breathed. “Not yet.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of the 3B premiere: here's more! as always, thanks for reading, commenting, and leaving your kudos!

**Author's Note:**

> Not my first fanfiction, but: my first on this website, my first in literally years, and my first in the TMI/Shadowhunters fandom! I don't have a beta, so all the mistakes are my own. 
> 
> I will start posting on ladynovelistfanfiction.tumblr.com
> 
> Be sure to follow!


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